yes, i know i’ve been inconsistent with my blog. which is a shame because there is so much i want to blog about. like this *very* moment. (eckart would be proud of me living in the ‘now’). i have dev in my kitchen wearing a cowboy hat (that belongs to marabeth) (i wanted to make it clear that it wasn’t his) (although he’s taken QUITE a liking to it). he is making sugar free, wheat free, gluten free pecan pancakes. they are the most amazing pancakes i’ve ever had. ryan lash is sitting at my table playing scrabulous and throwing out deliciously sarcastic comments. we will be picking up rach from the airport soon. party planning is well underway – i had a bit of a scare because there will be THUNDERSTORMS tomorrow but the boys are figuring out a plan b. plan b involves speaking in code so golriz doesn’t get stressed out, and looking up prices for astro turf.
text o’ the day:
‘there is a HUGE sign by the highway that proclaims “HELL IS REAL”…oh how i’ve missed the south!’ (emily JEM price)
i’m pretty exstatic about life these days. here are a few good reasons why:
1. i get access to the cutest dog in the world – soyer – he’s the ball of fur featured below and belongs to courtney (devon’s sister). he’s hypoallergenic and hypocute incase you didn’t notice.
2. the sun is constantly shining and it isn’t humid degrees celcius in tennessee yet.
3. because JEM (otherwise known as emily price), RED (otherwise known as rachael dere), JEN (otherwise known as jen jack rabbit) and sir ryan lash (who doesn’t have a three letter nickname yet) are all coming to my party. the reason i’m singling these people out is because they are coming from far, far away. they will get extra special treatment. like their very own bubble wands to wave around.
4. today i got my tires replaced and my oil changed. it’s such sweet relief to do those things you’ve been putting off for ages. now i feel like my car won’t blow up as i’m driving it. that’s a really nice feeling.
5. i have been smothered in hugs lately.
6. frozen blueberries have been a regular part of my every day diet of late. mmm.
7. work has slowed down a bit so i can surface and assess the season that just past and the one to come.
8. i’m going on a cruise soon. my first one ever. with a family i’m growing increasingly fond of with every passing day. i have two words for you: midnight buffet.
I really love trees. Q loves trees too. But I think we love them for different reasons. His trees speak to him in their silence. They hold history and knowledge in their ever-presence. They are ancient muses with secrets and sighs to decode. We share breath with them. My trees do all this too but my love for them is less romantic perhaps and more practical. I love their colors. The rivulets that you can trace when you run your fingers over the bark. I love the shade they provide. I love the dappled light that can only be created when sunshine filters through leaves. I like their strength. I like thinking about how far their roots go and how sometimes the roots are so strong they can tear through the asphalt.
It comes as no surprise then that I also love tree houses. I found these two on coolhunter.com today and fell in love instantly. I dare you not to.
Things I seem to always have a supply of in my fridge:
Honey – sometimes three varieties
Apples or pears
Annies organic salad dressing
Things I seem to never have a supply of in my fridge (except when Marabeth shops):
It seems I am a little misguided when it comes to the ‘staples’. Most people have cans of soup for ‘just in case’ and I have edamame and air dried crystallized ginger slices for those moments.
Top texts of the week – left anonymous to protect the innocent.
‘do you ever feel like you are starring in a movie? I feel that way all the time…especially when I have my ipod in and I’m outside (walking on campus too). I’m certain you know what I’m talking about’
‘you think I’m coming to Nashville? Pffffft’
‘I just started thinking about how much I miss you when you’re not here, and then I could feel my heartbeat in my head’
‘two fully tattooed flamenco guitarists are in a sound war with an eight year old black girl singing Selena while dancing salsa in a pink frilly tank top, while a man in a shark costume talks quietly to a creepy clown who never actually performs…just comes dressed as a clown…all true. Promenade memoirs.’
Letters to the inanimate objects that feature on my desk at work – the sequel
Dear green lamp,
Even though I have these glaring overhead fluorescent lights over my head I still come to my desk every morning and turn you on. It’s almost like I’m pretending the overhead lights don’t exist and I refuse to acknowledge their garish brightness. You, on the other hand, with your faux brass stand and your dainty chain, have class and refinement. You are my favorite green. The color of granny smith apples and new spring grass, in fact, if friendliness was a color it would be the color of your green.
Dear all purpose correction fluid,
Why do I even bother keeping you around? You are pretty much useless. In New Zealand you were called ‘twink’, I guess that was your brand name. In this land you are commonly referred to as ‘white out’. The thing is, no matter what name you go by, you are just annoying. You used to be a life saver when I was at school but you had your day, but now you’ve been replaced with ctrl x or the backspace/delete key. If I mess up on paper I may as well start from scratch. I don’t like writing over you because you never really dry or cover up the mistake so it ends up looking worse than it did before I applied you. I have some appreciation for your cousin – the dry strips that you can roll onto paper…but I guess that is too expensive for my non-profit theater to carry in stock. So I’m here to say it’s over. We’re done. Don’t call me.
Dear bottle of Glaceua Smart Water,
You were purchased a long time ago because I wanted a whole liter of water and I was swayed by your sleek lines. You are the perfect shape to hold and so I kept you around. Each morning I fill you up and sip away during my day. I have read all this stuff about plastic leaking and I’m sure it would be better if you were made of glass but for now I’m just going to be reassured with the thought that drinking lots of water is so good for me it counteracts the plastic leakage into my bloodstream. You also have pretty sassy copy on your label. I hadn’t read it until now and you do have a good point about the fact that clouds get a bad rap whereas they are nature’s purest source of water. I do think it’s odd that you have a ‘best buy’ date printed on you however. What happens after that date? Ooh…plastic leakage?
I might need to invest in a voss bottle. Gosh, I just realized – I’m a marketers dream.
You and I have had an interesting relationship. I used to relish crossing off the days. I was counting down to all sorts of exciting events and endings and beginnings. Now I’m not as consistent with marking the days off. I think this is because I’m pretty content and not in any hurry to zoom forward in time. Right now feels pretty fantastic actually. I will say, for the record, that no matter how much I try to embrace on line calendars or my outlook calendar, I still really like the tangible paper version that you are. I like glancing at my week and seeing all the notes I’ve scribbled in.
My fondness of you probably stems from the long term relationship I’ve had with calendars and diaries. Jasmine and I kept the most elaborate diaries in high school which contained all of our notes back and forth in class, pictures we’d glue in etc. I am sure that if we pulled them out today we’d have so much perfect content for a cringe show.
dear loyal readership (of three),
I know I’ve neglected my little patch of the blogosphere. I do have very good reasons. They are the same reasons I haven’t been sleeping much, or dressing in appropriate work attire, or focusing on tasks, or stopped smiling in eleven days.
Well, that’s not entirely true. The difficulties dressing in work attire has more to do with the fact that it is sunshiney blissfulness in Nashville these days and I have a plethora of summer dresses that are begging to be let out of my closet. Yesterday I went through five of them before I found one that was semi-professional looking – as opposed to ‘take me to a park, lie on the grass holding hands and drink smoothies with me’ looking. I seem to have an abundance of dresses of the latter type. I seem to prefer the latter activity to pretty much anything else in the world so that’s okay.
See? Just be glad I haven’t been blogging every day because it would be much of this giddy incoherency.
today m2 and jc are getting married. i’m going to be a bridesmaid for the first time ever. well, actually, jasmine tells me i was a bridesmaid when i was eight, but i don’t remember it so it doesn’t count.
the above facts mean that i should a)be getting ready and b)be getting ready which in turn means c)probably shouldn’t be blogging.
oh an d)do exercises to strengthen my memory.
we had the rehearsal at the church yesterday and there is a lot of ritual to an episcopalian wedding. i’m going to do my best to remember the order of things but it’s going to be hard because i’ll be all welled up with emotion because you know what? i love these two people.
m2 came into my life with perfect timing. i needed a bright spark of light and i needed to do something so that i wouldn’t feel like i was rattling around in a big empty space. she came to work at CAA as my pseudo-assistant. we instantly connected and about a week later she moved in. we spent countless hours at my dining table in front of our laptops eating cheese and crackers. there were weeks that we slept at 3am and rolled out of bed for work bleary eyed the next day only to repeat this cycle.
jc came with the package. he would be there – often with treats like blue bonnet (?) blue bell (?) icecream and tell us stories while we pretended to listen. then one day he got a pretty mac powerbook and he was able to really join in the fun.
i have observed these two up close and from afar and what stood out the most was how they handled adversity. the love part is easy. they adore each other and make this known. they are each other’s complements. but what was most striking to me was the commitment they had to one another when things were difficult. they both centered on God and then worked towards the same goal. they took each other by the hand and kept walking forward during tests that would have broken a lesser connection.
i’m so excited to share this day with them.
it really troubles me that there are still so many places in the world where people’s fundamental rights and liberties are not respected. it makes me all the more grateful to live in a country where i can talk freely about my faith and not have to worry about being imprisoned for my beliefs.
my prayers are with these six people and their families.
listening to death cab for cutie’s new album. third listen and i’m hooked.
just had a lovely talk to my mum who, you might be relieved to know, has a clever plan to remedy the whole ‘what time is it there?’ start to every conversation we have. she has decided to set one of the many clocks in the house to ‘golriz time’. this reminds me, our microwave is currently set one hour behind and i can’t figure out how to correct it. the microwave itself is so big that i’m surprised it doesn’t have it’s own gravitational pull. it is a true product of the early eighties complete with faux food panelling on the sides.
i laid on a grassy knoll today and i didn’t want to be anywhere else.
those moments, i try not to take for granted.
(i’m glad i could use the term ‘grassy knoll’ once in my life)
i have a friend called isis. (i know, cool name right?) she lives in maine. she is a rockstar who doesn’t just play one on tv. she left me a voice message today that i am going to save for as long as i can. this means i now have a total of four saved messages on my voice mail. all lovely reminders that my life contains miracles.
open letter to ryan lash because i’m too lazy to find the email address that works amongst the seventeen i have stored up that don’t work.
now that you are back in the continent of north america i have to say i’ll miss the random texts from yet another airport somewhere exotic. my favorite was the one from uganda when you were watching WWF wrestling. i’m so glad that inspired you to think of me.
but the truth is, i’m glad you are no longer so far away because perhaps this means that we can hang out sometime soon. catch up on all we did and didn’t do in the past six years.
oh and i can finally kick you in the shins for not being a jonathan safran foer fan.
it is sometimes surreal to me that i live on the other side of the globe to my parents. i was seventeen when i moved out of home to go to university and in the past decade i’ve only every been back for short stints. in a way, it isn’t so different to my own mother’s journey as she married my dad and moved away from her family to iran, then to france, england, wales, new zealand’s south island and then the north island and now australia…are you tired yet? both of my parents were dislocated from their families so my siblings and i grew up without any extended family around. whether it was destiny or genetic predisposition i’m not sure…but i’ve also forged a similar path for myself. i think that for my children i’d like to break this pattern and to have at least one set of grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins near by. or at least in the same continent.
my mum called me yesterday – it’s always so good to hear her voice. even if i roll my eyes when i first pick up because UNFAILINGLY the first part of our conversation will be ‘hi gogo-joon, it’s me. what time is it there darling?’. she always calls around 9pm. but yet she still asks the time. ALWAYS. and it’s always around 9pm.
but your mother, or at least i feel this way, is the one person you don’t have to put on a ‘game face’ for. you can be completely, entirely, one hundred percent yourself. she sees me at my best, she most certainly sees me at my worst. there is no pretence. there is no artifice. if i pick up the phone and i’m unhappy she is going to know, just by the tone of my voice. there is no use in disguising it. it’s that incredible mother’s intuition i guess – that innate knowledge of their children.
there is also nothing quite like being hugged by your mother. that sense that this person loves you unconditionally, wants the very best for you and that you will always have a connection with you. she will be your number one fan no matter what. she put band aids on your scrapes as a child and continues to be a balm to the hurt you encounter today as an adult.
mothers are amazing.
i read a blog titled dooce every day and a lot of insight i’ve gained into what it could mean to be a mother, i’ve learned from the author of this blog, heather armstrong. every month she writes her daughter, leta, a ‘newsletter’ where interspersed with exquisite photographs she describes the things that leta is learning, her idiosyncrasies, and her own experiences of motherhood. without fail the last line of her letters melts even the coldest of concrete hearts. the latest newsletter is, as always, candid, raw and beautifully composed – but this time Dooce outlines her thoughts about writing these newsletters – a response to people who attack her blog, arguing that she is exploiting her child. and i have to champion her at this juncture because i feel like her record of motherhood is invaluable. she is honest, painfully so sometimes, but that is what i love about her writing. she doesn’t hold back or filter. at one stage she suffered from extreme post-partum depression and i was blown away by her bravery. her ability to discuss it frankly and openly with the world at large.
there are plenty of amazing examples of mothers in my life besides my own. i have learned that it’s essential to ‘adopt’ a few in every place i live. they all provide me with strength and love and i’m grateful for each and every one of them. i hope they all know how much they mean to me.
happy mother’s day.
they are sugarfree (sweetened with honey) and spectacular if i do say so myself.
i think the only thing that would make them better is dipping them in melted dark chocolate. but that would combat the sugarfree-ness and it would mutate my cells (remember?)
in other news, here is a really good reason why i should have been on third street promenade yesterday:
“a magician who goes by the name of ‘magic’ just asked me to watch his stuff so that he could go chat with a 6’4 piano player while a 12 year old is ripping Hendrix in front of me and a super hot girl is playing awful next to him- i wish you were here” AG
one of my favorite people wrote this list-of-things-to-tell-his-unborn-babies. it is possibly the most exquisite thing i’ve read in months. if you read it, be warned that you will probably want to have babies with this man.
if that is the case, you should also know he adores southpark. if you can handle that send in your applications. since i refused to help him edit his CV the least i can do is headhunt for a wife for him.
oh – you should also be warned that if you read the rest of Q’s blog, everything i write on mine will seem rather dull and banal. even my own mother is more excited about reading his blog than mine.
gosh. it’s such a beautiful day. i need to be outside soaking more of it in, than inside reading lists that make me want to go buy toddler sized nikes.
but before i go, i have a short list:
how to charm me in three easy steps:
1. send me a text asking if there is anything i want from trader joes
2. leave me a long rambling message about how you wonder if dogs have spirits that can be reincarnated because the new dogs love you the same way your old dog did
3. knowing that dusk is also your favorite time of the day
things i’m excited about as of this very moment
1. getting a pair of amazing tickets to see Swell Season. If you’ve watched the movie Once you will already know about the exquisite melding of the voices of Irish musician Glen Hansard and Czech singer and pianist Markéta Irglová. if you haven’t watched the movie Once you should stop reading this and figure out a way to see this movie. Tonight if possible.
2.i have NO plans this weekend. there is not one place I need to be. i have been craving a weekend that is a blank slate and here it is. this actually just leaves more time for planning 06.01 shenanigans…which leads me to
3. i’m having a ‘mad hatters garden tea party’ for my birthday! it is going to be mayhem and madness. i have ruined holley’s life because she stays up all night thinking of amazing ideas like spray painting my backyard like a chess board.
i will be sending out formal invitations. but if you read my blog, and you are not creepy, and there is a chance that we could be friends, then i warmly invite you to attend.
4. i think i might do another round of thrift store hunting. the last escapade proved very fruitful. besides party decorations like tiny teacups and rusty chandeliers, i found a little camel colored leather italian purse that reminds me so much of roya azadi that i might have to send it to her (hi! roya) and an etcha-sketch for 39 cents which from now on will be referred to as ‘the best thirty nine cents i’ve ever spent’.
5. seeing alvin ailey on wednesday night.
6. my blue ipod shuffle. i succumbed to its itsy bitsy lure. you know that you are living in the time of the Jetsons when the regular ipod which contains your entire music collection just becomes too much of a burden to carry around. it’s funny, i still definitely recall making my first mix tape and now with a few clicks you can wear hundreds of your favorite songs on your lapel. ha. i don’t think i have one item of clothing with a lapel. but you get the point.
7. sunshine. did you really think you would get a list that didn’t mention my friend?
8. i now have a new last name:
lucina is derived from Lucine – which is an Armenian word meaning moon light. i’m half-armenian for those of you who didn’t know – i can prove this by my love for all things made of pastry and cheese, and my freckles.
i also found out recently that there is a main belt asteroid named 146 Lucina (whatever a main belt asteroid is), also that hamearis lucina is a type of butterfly, and that lucina is the goddess of childbirth in Roman mythology.
i have googled golriz lucina and i think i am the only one in the world…surprise, surprise. oh and the ‘c’ is pronounced like ‘cee’, not ‘ch’. although feel free to say it however you want, i don’t mind, after all i respond to Gold Reeves.
9. trampoline in our back yard may be a reality by the end of the day pending a return call from the person selling one on craigslist.
10. a wonderful friend who will be here in two sleeps and will be forced to make me his brown rice pancakes that i’ve heard altogether too much about.
hope you are all being the brilliant stars i know you to be. have a wonderful weekend!
i don’t really know much about david, but i do know that my life may never be the same again now that i’ve found him. this morning i discovered david horvitz’s list – a list of extremely unusual things you can purchase from him – things such as:
If you give me $1,626 I will go to the small Okinawan island called Taketomi and send you an envelope filled with star-sand (don’t worry, I’ve been there before, I know where to go). I will send it from there.
If you give me $250 I will read the Little Prince in front of the New York Stock Exchange on Wall Street in the middle of a work day. I will send you photograph documentation of this. (or: if you give me $1000 I will buy as many copies of the Little Prince as I can and give them away to people leaving the New York Stock Exchange after a days work)
i think david horvitz would be a great friend. a crazy friend perhaps. but i’d never have a dull moment.
today i also discovered the secret to life. well almost. a clever bowl designed to keep your cereal crunchy.
in conclusion, i’ve realized that i pretty much instantly fall in love with three breeds of people: inventors, music makers and contestants on ‘so you think you can dance’.
i’m pretty vocal about my love for you – but i think i need to elaborate on it some more. these days i simply cannot bear to be inside. you just keep coming out in full force, with your backdrop of blue skies and fluffy white clouds and i just want to be outside soaking you in. so, as a result, i keep thinking of ‘errands’ i need to run just so i can escape the office and as i walk out of the building i feel instantly happier. you are my drug and i am hopelessly addicted.
thanks to you i am at least four shades more tanned than i was a month ago. a month ago i was beige. just for the record, i don’t really suit beige. i don’t even like the word beige (nina mcsweeney seconds this motion). some people are lily white and look amazing. not i. so now, with some color on my limbs i once again feel like i ‘fit’ in my skin.
and yes, i know that soaking up your rays is controversial, and i’m not dismissing the risks or advocating for reckless exposure to you – but i must say, i feel like i need you in my life. i’m a nicer person because of you. how can you argue with that?
i think i have a deep appreciation of you because of the three years i spent in the frigid climes of maine. remember how you would take your time getting to that state? the rest of the country seemed to be frolicking around bewitched by spring and i’d still be wearing snow boots. then there was that period of time when i would wake up feeling miserable for no apparent reason. a doctor who diagnosed me with ‘seasonal affective disorder’ and gave me the option of anti-depressants or a tanning bed. it was at that point that i decided i needed you back in my life and so packed my bags and moved to australia where you seem to hang out a lot.
in july/august i’ll probably get a little tired of you. but it’s not really you, it’s the humidity. i’ll retreat to shade and bemoan the fact that there is no beach at my disposal.
these days i’ll be walking and suddenly notice the warmth of you on my back. it’s like a gentle hug from the universe. i know that’s cheesy. but this is a love letter and i can be cheesy. the rules are different.
thank you for saturating my world.
ps. i am also grateful that you illumine the moon.
“i am street performing and a man with a ponytail and a sign that says ‘love and relationships palm readings’ in red glitter is yelling ‘NO skateboards!’ to the kids rolling by, while a husband wife duo (35ish) butcher a kelly clarkson song- guitar vocals and tambourine :) life is good.” AG
if you are near me and i am speaking in gushing tones, using a lot of hand movements and many exclamations of ‘you must go!’, chances are i’m talking about the-place-i-think-of-most-as-home, my beloved New Zealand.
or Six Flags.
so it was with a huge amount of excitement that i opened a package i received in the mail from my dear friend elene, to find this FANTASTIC mirror.
one of the coolest things about our new place is that the wall in the kitchen is a chalkboard. yes, the entire wall. so you can write your shopping list up there, reminders, draw the outline of your body like a crime scene…the possibilities are endless. marabeth and i have decided to devote one corner to ‘a little birdie told me’ where we will write little notes each month. we are dorks like that. and we don’t care.
thank you for jake simkin for introducing me to death cab for cutie. new album out on the 13th. thank you to DCfC for being an essential part of my life’s soundtrack.
thank you to josh at t-mobile for backdating my new plan so that i wasn’t zinged with additional fees on this month’s cell phone bill. i must say, that since day one i’ve been pretty impressed with t-mobile. i know that their staff have strict orders of how over-the-top-friendly to be. but i like it. we chatted about my day. the perfect blue skies. the fact that i wished the at&t didn’t have the monopoly on the iphone. when i got off the phone i nearly said ‘see you soon’ because it actually felt like i might.
thank you to God. this goes without saying. but on a day so brilliantly sunshiney, the air filled with a symphony of lawns being mowed, birds singing, children laughing next door, and brooke wagonner blasting from my home onto the deck where i’m lazing, well, on a perfect day like this, one can’t help but be entirely thankful.
(oh – and before you start ‘tsk-ing’ about how God should come before my new friend Josh, let me reassure you that this list is not in any particular order)
thank you to marabeth for being a phenomenal co-host. we pulled off a spectacular dinner party last night. the first in our new place! saffron infused rice, teriaki salmon fillets, rocket salad with strawberries, feta cheese and balsamic vinaigrette. a picture-perfect table setting complete with fresh tulips. a delightful combination of guests. there was laughter, rich conversation and even pushing-all-furniture-aside to salsa dance (or attempt to). everyone reluctantly left at 2 in the morning. (note to self: just because people are over fifty doesn’t mean they can’t party till the break of dawn). it was definitely a success and i can’t wait to have more.
thank you to all the LOVE i received on friday. AG, AL, JV, RA, HSL, DG, AB – you are all amazing gifts in my life. thank you for checking in with me. my world is a better place because you are in it.
thank you to MM for the box of little lads popcorn that was the ONLY thing i could stand to eat on friday.
thank you to the massive bumble bee that keeps circling my head and choosing not to bite me.
and finally, thank you to whoever first created yogurt.