image found here while looking for art to feature on SoulPancake. which gives you a glimpse into my everyday.
1. bumping into people.
2. saying sorry to strangers (see #1).
3. wearing leggings as pants.
4. feeling the need to stop strangers and tell them their outfits are awesome.
5. thinking moss green tights are a perfectly practical purchase.
6. washing my hands.
7. spending $
8. feeling creatively inspired.
9. walking from point (a) to point (b).
10. growing an appreciation for the humble umbrella.
11. wanting to move here because of the way that the light afternoon light reflects in the windows of the buildings.
today i feel: loved. treasured. equal. whole. adored. hopeful. safe. treasured.
but i haven’t always felt this way. i haven’t always believed that i deserved to feel this way. in fact, once upon a time, in a land called ‘my brain fed by hollywood’ i thought i was supposed to feel an elaborate concoction of: anxious, nervous, confused, and exhilarated. and so i forged ahead looking for that elusive blend. one minute up. one minute down. sure footing was so safe, so predictable, so eye-roll inducing and boring. no. i wanted dramatics. fireworks. rickety roller-coasters and unpredictability. that was my idea of love…or at least the idea i’d decided love to be.
i was wrong. so very, very wrong.
i don’t want to just blame the media, or my parents, or judy blume. i don’t blame my first boyfriend, or my last, or magazines or Oprah. in fact, i only blame the lack of honest, open, dialogue that i was exposed to when it came to finding the right partner and creating a healthy marriage.
yes, i realize i’m only a few weeks in, but i now know how a healthy partnership is supposed to feel. it is effortless. it is sweet and kind. generous and inclusive. i now realize that being loved, and loving, should feel safe. to have our hearts held in reliable hands is all we really want. so my dear friends, please look for that. don’t get swept up in the confusion and apprehension and dramatics of it all. find the person who recognizes who you were created to be. search for the person that sees your light as brightly as you see theirs. and will do anything to keep that light glowing brighter and brighter.
sweetest sketch by: thaneda
you know what i love? carrying on a celebration way past it’s ‘best by’ date. if it’s my birthday for example, it’s not just my birthDAY. it’s my birth week, my birth month, my birth season. i draw out the festivities for as long as possible. i blame all of these ridiculous antics on the fact that my parents were not into throwing parties because they didn’t want other people’s parents to go through the stress of having to purchase gifts, and promote materialism and blah blah blah but newsflash parents, every kid wants a PARTY. so…here i am, making up for it.
my husband (!) and i have nearly been married two whole weeks. however, the celebrating has not ceased. in fact we are going to add fuel to the festive fire, and go away on an impromptu two-week trip to one of our favorite neighborhoods in the world – SoHo, NYC. it’s the kind of place that i can happily lose myself for hours window shopping at ridiculously overpriced boutiques, drinking coffee, and snapping too many pictures. i don’t care that SoHo dwellers can be pretentious. i do care that they have sidewalks for walking (imagine that?! i’m looking at you tennessee.) we’re subletting an adorable apartment and it’s only six (count ‘em) blocks from babycakes bakery. i know. normal people figure out distances to the subway. or museums. but not us yeast-free, sugar-free, wheat-free weirdos.
in other news, i purchased an air plant that is supposed to survive with air alone. it doesn’t need water. or soil. or debussy. but my air plant is determined to die. i have concluded this means that the air quality in my room is dangerously unhealthy or i need to stick to paper and fabric flowers.
so here’s a handy list of things you’re NOT allowed to carry on when flying. what i want to know is WHO is traveling around this fair land with a sword these days?
a pirate? one of king arthur’s knights? a dragon slayer?
ryan lash and i have known each other for about 15 years. the first time i met him he was a lanky, vegan with a sundry of cameras strapped to his body and a dry sense of humor. not much has changed, except he now eats things that once had faces. i’m not sure how we’ve managed to stay close since we are rarely inhabit the same continent, but our friendship has been a constant and something i deeply treasure.
ryan was the first person to really encourage me to take photographs. whereas the average person would offer praise, ryan actually gifted me a rare manual pentax film camera with two amazing lenses and an auto-winder (so i would feel like a professional). when i was having problems with an ex, sweet ryan offered to come and ‘bash his kneecaps’ and since that wasn’t completely realistic he called a mutual friend and requested she fly to australia to cheer me up. when marabeth and i demanded glamor shots complete with blowing fan action, ryan lash acquiesced and held back the eyerolls as we carried on in our posers-on-steroids fashion. these are just a few of reasons why i will forever adore ryan lash.
the most recent reason? the incredible way he captured our weekend wedding extravaganza. you can see the photos here.
my suggestion – if you are getting married, you definitely need to hire ryan as your wedding photographer. if you are not getting married you need to hire ryan to shoot your next elaborate party. if you are not into parties you need to hire ryan to shoot your boring-day-to-day existence. his photos capture real life better than real life.
and you can quote me on that.
1. i’m married to the most incredible, creative, generous man i know. devon hugh gundry = best. decision. i’ve. ever. made.
2. our wedding was everything thing that i dreamed of. and then a whole lot more. beforehand, we would jokingly describe our shared vision for the look and feel of the room being akin to anthropologie on steroids. vision = achieved.
3. i force dev to sing ‘my song’ constantly. i will never forget this moment of surprise during the ceremony. kudos to waterproof mascara.
4. between my family, dev’s family, and our friends, there is a serious lovefest happening in this house.
5. our friends are amazing. from transporting my shoes all the way from the UK, to creating a gigantic paper chandelier, to carrying 12 retro tv’s up 3 flights of stairs, to singing with us… we could not have pulled off our elaborate hi-jinx without their help.
6. ry lash is sitting in our basement right now examining the over 7000 (no exaggeration) photos he took of our wedding. i know you’re itching to see them. and you should be. his lens makes real life even better.
7. my mum is an angel. from the moment she landed in nashville i had her staying up till 5am to untangle fabric flower garlands, stitching together programs with fragile gold thread, sewing 200 cd cases for our favors with vintage fabrics, making adorable hand-stitched bird wedding cake toppers, baking a mountain of baklava, oh…and creating my incredible dress.
8. i’m so glad i bought 20 packets of polariod film before it became extinct. they will soon be scanned and shown off to the world.
9. our friends take costume parties very seriously. that’s why they are our friends.
10. i’m the happiest.
theme: cowboy, damsel, bear
mode of transportation: two toned vespa with giant yellow balloon
weather: warm spring day
beautiful film photographs: ashley ludwin + her magic olympus.