THE COZYHUNTER
// she's only happy in the sun.
29
Aug 11
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list o’six.

1. we had a blast last night watching one of my favorite people, rachael price, sing with her band, lake street dive. they were fantastic and the crowd loved them. if you ever get the chance to see this talented foursome you should really do it.

2. saturday was spent at a lovely baby shower for our friends akia & juan. not only are they two of the most beautiful humans walking this earth, but they are super loving, gracious, creative and sweet. their baby boy is a very lucky little one. i am also 100% in favor of baby showers where both parents are present. i really don’t get why this should be an all female affair. i mean, it’s not like the soon-to-be dad’s aren’t excited about the arrival of their child!

i took this photo of akia at a recent wedding. even though it’s blurry i still love it. look at her baby belly! and her fantastic blue shoes!

3. peanut butter + sliced banana + wrapped in a tortilla. = all i want to eat lately.

4. sad to have missed my dear friend isis and her beau seth’s wedding over the weekend. i am anxiously waiting to see photos and am elated that she has found her love.mate.

i stole this photo from facebook, and i’m kinda partial to the random stranger with the piercing glare sitting on seth’s shoulder.

5. i find google street view fascinating. especially when i see a person in the shot. even with their faces blurred out they are caught, frozen in time. there’s something i love about that.

6. lifelong quandary: i turn the AC on and i’m freezing. i turn it off and i’m swealtering hot. it’s a lose/lose situation.

28
Aug 11
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27
Aug 11
2 comments

love.love.love

this song makes me really happy these days. and not just because it’s made by a new zealand band. although i do love how they pronounce ‘heart’.

 

26
Aug 11
4 comments

over.whelmed.

i went on a walk. and tried to weigh up the pros and cons of sitting in a stranger’s garden. the pros were sitting in a garden. the cons were spiders and getting in trouble for trespassing. i kept walking.

**

i hate letting people down. i hate not showing up when expected. i hate being late. and the people-pleaser in me can’t just leave things unreconciled and lingering. everything needs to be neat and orderly. squared away and clear. i am frustrated by ambiguity. by not knowing. by having to make choices when neither option seems all that desirable.

**

some days i wake up and i’m more tired than i was when i went to bed. but i’m also agitated and restless. it’s on those days i’d give anything to wake up on a boulder in the sun next to an ice cold river. my need for new zealand river time is becoming unbearable. yesterday i put ice packs on my feet and closed my eyes and pretended. that’s pretty desperate.

**

i know this post sounds whiny. i realize it doesn’t conform with the rest. it’s interesting that i feel like i have certain expectations to uphold, even in this space. expectations are tiring. but the point of this space isn’t actually to feed those expectations. it’s to relate glimpses of what i’m feeling/experiencing. and yes, more often than not, my life is a charmed journey packed with sweetness and excitement (which annoys some, and comforts others). but it’s also important to remember that it’s still a journey. it has it’s crevices and pitfalls, dead ends and disappointments.

**

in other news, i can’t WAIT to meet our future children. i hope they have their father’s ability to secure and offer joy in every.single.moment.

23
Aug 11
5 comments

give me a garden.

i think the key to keeping your sanity if you live in LA is having a nearby patch of grass, ocean, mountain, giant tree. some semblance of nature needs to be close. my need for greenery has become very insistent. so insistent in fact, that i spend time each day coveting our neighbors backyard and wondering how inappropriate it would be if i just set up camp there.

sigh. it’s times like this i really miss new zealand.

so i’ve been scouring craigslist for apartments/homes in silverlake/los feliz and surrounding areas that have keywords: garden, patio, lawn, deck. and after a month of searching, it seems finding any kind of habitat with green space is about as difficult as finding someone in LA who doesn’t work in ‘the industry’.

today i spied this little house on miss moss, and now i want it. obviously. i’m sure it’s no where near la, but a girl can dream.

 

23
Aug 11
1 comment

velveteen tiger.

on saturday we finally did one of those things that we always say we want to do, but don’t really go out of our way to actually do. that being: movies in the hollywood cemetery put on by cinespia.

we’d heard that the lines are always really long, like wrap-around-the-street-long, so we arrived early and ash & i staked our patch of earth while the guys adopted the hunter/gatherer role and went shopping for food. it was really nice to laze around outside under blue skies and it’s also pretty hilarious to see how seriously people take this event. folks came prepared! with mini tables, chairs, table cloths and candles! one group had a vase with plastic light-up flowers. talk about creating ambiance. our only claim to fame was the glorious picnic blanket that nic and ash had found earlier in the day. you have to admit, it’s pretty incredible:

as we were at the front of the line we weren’t too worried about securing a good location on the grass to watch the film, but as soon as the doors opened up people who were far behind us in line started RUNNING towards the grass. we refused to join the line-cutters and kept walking, but ash and dev were particularly unimpressed and at one point i thought dev was going to start tripping people.

we did secure a fine patch of grass however, and set up our blanket with a great view of the stage. and then we ate all.the.food. including the amazing camera cookies which tasted as good as they looked.

did i mention the movie was the classic steve martin, the jerk. and let’s just say the half that i stayed awake for was fantastic. #lightweight

18
Aug 11
3 comments

the edible version of my favorite things.

so as you already know if you frequent my blog, i have quite a large collection of analog cameras. by ‘quite a large’ i mean that at least 25 of them are now packed up in a box because our fireplace mantle basically ran out of room.

most of the cameras i sourced from flea markets, swap meets, and goodwill stores in middle america. and then there a handful of plastic store bought ones. and then many i’ve gotten as gifts from sweet friends who hand them to me saying ‘you know, there’s an app for that now’.

and yes, even though there is an app for practically any kind of camera effect you want to achieve. there is NOT an app that feels the same as getting film processed and marveling at all the unexpected things that were captured. light leaks and stray flares and vignetting. oh my!

when we first moved to LA dev and i found out about a local swap meet that basically begged me to buy polaroid cameras because they were SO cheap. like $3 each. (because polaroid stopped making film a lot of these cameras are considered pointless). however, i have a little storehouse of polaroid film that i bought up before it went extinct, so i purchased about 7 different polaroid cameras. and then dev held an intervention.

here is one of my favorites (i call her ‘rainbow brite’):

so you can just imagine my surprise and excitement to receive a parcel in the mail yesterday that contained these delights:

these are camera cookies! i know! BEST DAY EVER.

of course these brilliant creations were care of ashley paige. who is basically willy wonka’s assistant and so anything she touches/does is more magical, colorful, creative, awesome, because she had a part to play in it.

18
Aug 11
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17
Aug 11
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if dev & i morphed into art it might look something like this.

so of course, i had to buy these two art prints today.

ps. if you love original art, but are also restrained by limited $, then 20×200 is the place for you. their credo is: (limited editions × low prices) + the internet = art for everyone.

16
Aug 11
2 comments

abodes i adore.

if you have some level of ocd, and your desktop is full of folders where you’ve stashed images of stuff you’ve found on the interwebs, then let me introduce you to your new best friend: pinterest.

i joined a few months ago and have found it to be one of the most useful tools in cyberspace. you basically sign up for a free account, create some ‘boards’ and then start pinning away. you can follow other people’s boards or just curate from images you find online. everything is neat and organized, and the images link back to the original place where they were found. #hooray

i have a board called ‘habitat wishlist’ and since we are in pseudo house-hunting mode, i thought i’d post some of my favorite recent finds here:

and it seems that i might have a thing for giant windows, wood everywhere, and super high ceilings.

15
Aug 11
2 comments

gossip.

incredible embroidery photo found here

“she’s fantastic… i think you’d like her.”

this message surprised me as all i’ve heard about this ‘she’ is less than favorable. descriptions that included words like insincere and difficult. spoiled and superficial. nothing redeeming. certainly nothing positive.

and suddenly i felt ill. like i’d been fed decayed strawberries my whole life only to find out that whoa, fresh strawberries are awesome. they’re juicy. and red. and sweet. and delicious.

and it was a great reminder that all too often, we humans do this. we poison each others perceptions with our own negative thoughts/misgivings/experiences/envy. and it’s not fair. and it’s not just. and it’s definitely not conducive to making this world a nicer place to be inhabiting.

so i want to caution any and all who enter my sphere that i don’t want to hear about others shortcomings/faults/vices. and unless you or i am in danger of direct harm, i don’t want to know how person X failed you. or listen as you pick apart their character. it’s not fair to them. or to me. and it’s toxic for you too.

our words are powerful. they are tools that build relationships and forge connections. let’s use them for that.

13
Aug 11
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13
Aug 11
2 comments

craving color.

one day, we will journey to the tulip fields in amsterdam and take far too many photographs. but until then…

photo credit: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

11
Aug 11
1 comment

list of things i know with a certain certainty.

[silverlake, 2010]

1. love is the most powerful nutrient in the world.

2. over the next six months, my work/life will be a little overwhelming/intense due to some hugely exciting opportunities on the horizon.

3. the secret to every well-functioning couple is that one of the parties agrees to be the lifetime spider killer/catcher. the other secret is consultation. and of course, impromptu dance parties.

4. food tastes better when you’re eating outside. and there is a grill involved.

5. if i’m well rested, and hydrated, and wearing the right shoes, no task is insurmountable.

6. a road trip isn’t complete without opening the windows, blasting the stereo and singing as loudly as you can muster.

7. city skylines at magic hour are bewitching.

09
Aug 11
3 comments

filaments & fragments.

iced tea for me. an americano for you. i tried not to be envious of the perfect cup of coffee they made you. you noted that intelligensia reminded you of haifa and i understood. completely. i don’t remember taking many breaths during our conversation and too soon, it was over. i am grateful for securing time in the week for that morning. it reminded me that when surrounded with wholeness, there’s so much less to be depleted by.

**

i have fallen for you countless times. and still, every morning when you greet me with shining, happy eyes, i fall for you all over again.

**

once upon a time we would spend all day together at school and then all evening on the phone and somehow still not run out of things to say. we were quintessential best friends. complete with sleepovers and hilarity and annoying younger brothers and fierce crushes on johnny depp. i’m still impressed by how we started a jewelry line so our 11 year old entrepreneurship could have an outlet, and kept meticulous records of our sales. i can only hope my future children have best friends who make memories as lasting as ours.

**

if we were ever to meet again, the only thing i’d want you to know with certainty is that we absolutely made the right decision.

**

i beamed when i saw you and for some reason this took you by surprise. but i guess it’s been a while, and you’ve forgotten that my exuberance knows no bounds. we walked and talked about everything. mostly you actually. which was amusing considering you’re so irked by how LA-ers talk incessantly about themselves and their achievements. but i enjoy seeing you excited and happy. hopeful and anticipatory. i didn’t know how to bring up what i wanted to tell you the most. it’s sometimes easier to tell perfect strangers in gift stores full of overpriced eco-ware than it is to look at someone who you’ve known for over a decade and tell them why you’ve been distracted the entire time. but eventually it tumbled out. and i don’t think i’ll ever forget your face. a mixture of surprise and happiness and shock and i-don’t-know-what that left you, who is never without words, faltering to respond. i feel like someone had hit pause and there we were staring at each other while the world spun on and chubby toddlers grasped for ice cream and european tourists cooled off in the ocean. and after an eternity you hugged me and i knew it was all going to be ok. and i don’t tell you this enough, but you’ve been one of very few constants in a life full of movement and flux, and for that i’m immensely grateful.

**

a foundation of pretense. that’s how i’d sum up our acquaintance. and for that reason (there’s no better reason) i’m no longer going to put effort in, or expect anything in return.

**

you have the ability to connect dots like no other and in you i’ve found a true sister. there’s no need to explain the subtleties because we speak the same language and without words we still get it. a day where we haven’t seen each other seems like a day wasted. thank you for being one of the brightest lights in this city of angels.

**

i have asked you for an explanation using every avenue available, yet the radio silence on your end is deafening. perhaps one day you’ll explain your actions but perhaps by then, it won’t matter to me anymore.

**

when it comes to generosity of spirit, kindness, patience and love, you set the bar high. i consider myself so lucky to have watched your example over my lifetime and i hope some of your strengths show up in me. thank you for recognizing my light from the first day and for instilling in me a deep sense of what matters, and always reminding me to let go of that which is insignificant and transitory.

09
Aug 11
3 comments

bubbling.

if the world is ready for a new photography fad i think it needs to be bubbling. just a series of photos of people all over the world, standing in front of different locations, blowing bubbles. easy & awesome.

 

05
Aug 11
16 comments

“don’t hate me ’cause i’m beautiful.”

we’re heading to vermont tonight for dev’s cousin’s wedding. which means that it’s time to share this very crazy, yet 100% true story.

when i was about 12 years old my family lived in new zealand and every summer, i’d go to a one week baha’i kids camp with my friend jasmine. when we got to camp we surveyed the scene. and by that i mean, we looked at all the other camp attendees and tried to figure out who we wanted to hang out with, which at that age usually had everything to do with whether they understood our fascination with american basketball (i was a huge charlotte hornets fan, and jaz loved the chicago bulls). to this day, i don’t really remember how my love for basketball became so fierce at that age (i certainly don’t care about it one iota now), but i definitely remember purchasing my first bright blue charlotte hornets cap, and lovingly bending the rim so that it sat ‘just right’ and then wearing it everyday. #highdorkalert.

ANYWAY.

the camp had its usual suspects that we’d met each year, except for one, glorious exception: brandon moore.

brandon more was an 11 year old kid whose family had moved from the states a few months ago. he was everything that i loved about america – baggy jeans, high tops, basketball cap worn backwards, and the iconic california white smile. he also happened to be half black, half white, so his skin was the color of caramel and he had freckles. and curly gold hair. and he LOVED basketball. needless to say, my 12 year old self was instantly enamored. in fact, i’d say this was my first real crush.

i remember declaring to jasmine that one day, i would marry this boy. i was convinced.

brandon moore got quite a bit of attention at camp. he had a confidence that belied his young age and a certain swagger. i realized i had to turn on the charm pretty heavily if i was going to make him notice me. the only problem was that jasmine also had a big crush on brandon. so there we were – two awkward 12-year-olds who would laugh at everything he said (whether it was a joke or not) and spend our evenings plotting out our outfits for the following day in hopes that the american boy would pay us attention.

but alas, being the star of the camp meant that brandon was in high demand, and even though we pulled out all the stops the most we got was his winning smile, and i think during one camp game he and i had to hold hands. (hands i didn’t wash for weeks.) brandon also had a little sister, who was super adorable, and so jasmine and i tried getting on her good side in hopes that her affinity for us would trickle up to her brother, but to no avail.

when it came time for brandon to leave camp i distinctly remember him putting his bags in his parents car. the sun filtered down as he said his goodbyes and i honestly felt my heart break in two. i had already watched ‘gone with the wind’ and i felt just like scarlett o’hara when rhett finally leaves her. it was a TRAGEDY and i couldn’t bear to just let my ahem, future husband, walk out of my life so blithely.

so i asked brandon if he’d be my penpal. i thought maybe i could woo him with my articulate prose and my handmade envelopes, but i guess he wasn’t really into that sort of thing and he politely declined the invitation. in the final moments as he was about to get in the car and drive out of my life for ever, he turned back to jasmine and i, smiled his heart-melting smile and said “hey, don’t hate me ’cause I’m beautiful”. and with that he was gone.

we had no idea what this phrase really meant, but we knew it was cool. that was obvious.

i never saw brandon again. rumor had it that his parents had moved back to the states, and no one ever heard from him. it’s no exaggeration that for the next 10 years of my life i constantly wondered whatever happened to brandon moore. when ‘friendster’ came out, he was one of the first people i searched for, and then on myspace. but nothing. it was like he had just disappeared. he was an enigma.

one day i was watching fresh prince of bel air and will smith drops the line “don’t hate me ’cause i’m beautiful” and everything came full circle and i realized this wasn’t just a brandon moore saying, but something he’d picked up from american tv. this just made me like him more.

fast forward to about 2 years ago. dev and i had just been visiting new york and we were on the plane about to head back to nashville. during our stay in nyc, dev had suggested we visit his cousin kami so we met up with her after her roller derby game. i love meeting dev’s family because mine is so spread over the far corners of this earth, that to meet cousins, aunts, uncles that live within easy visiting proximity gives me a feeling of family that i’d always wanted. as we sat on the plane, ignoring the flight attendants safety instructions, we caught up on email on our iPhones. i noticed i’d just gotten a friend request from kami, so i went to accept it.

and that’s when i saw her full name: kami moore.

blink. blink.

i looked at her profile picture. golden honey colored skin. tight curls. pretty smile.

COULD IT BE?

i turned to dev with my heart racing

“errr…dev, does kami have a brother by any chance?”

“yeah!” dev responded without skipping a beat

“my cousin brandon is her older brother”

IN CASE YOU DIDN’T GET, THAT LET ME REPEAT IT IN ALL CAPS: DEVON’S COUSIN IS BRANDON MOORE.

and not just any cousin, but his dad’s TWIN SISTER’S son.

blink. blink.

which is when i responded with high pitched fevor:

“omigod! i was in love with your cousin! i thought i was going to marry him! i thought i’d never see him again! he was the love my (12 year old) life!”

i told dev the whole story and he sat there incredulous. i mean, come on, it’s pretty epic.

for a while brandon had hoped to come to our wedding but he wasn’t able to make it, his sister kami was there and so i of course, regaled her with my “i was convinced i was going to marry your brother” story.

we finally got to hang out with brandon about a year ago. he lives in california and he looks the same, just a whole lot taller. and although he remembers that camp, he didn’t remember me (so much for my careful camp outfit selection) and so we didn’t really have much to talk about. and well, maybe i made it a bit awkward with my retelling of this story to his ENTIRE FAMILY.

this is a photo of us all bowling/posing. brandon is the guy standing beside dev, kami is in the front right wearing yellow.

so this wedding we are going to this weekend is lovely kami’s wedding. and brandon will be there. and luckily for all concerned, my crush is no longer active. ha. and the thing that i haven’t really said out loud to anyone is that i think i recognized a need to know brandon even that that young age – and (hold onto your eyebrows because this probably sounds crazy) i think it was because i was always supposed to find devon. whether it be through my 12 -year-old-crush, or by ending up in nashville – a city i’d vowed i’d never live in. or the fact that my sister bought his CD 5 years ago, memorized every word and told me about him before i had even heard of devon gundry. but throughout my life the universe definitely kept leaving me breadcrumbs directing me to my soul’s mate. and that just blows my mind in the best possible way.

02
Aug 11
3 comments
01
Aug 11
2 comments

recaps & cravings.

view envy spied here.

lately i’ve been craving space. solitude. a sense of stillness.

ideally, i want to be next to or close to a river. and not just any river, but a typical new zealand river. one with large flat rocks that you can lie on as the sun filters through the branches of trees overhead. with the only sounds being the nearby waterfall, and the bird calls. the kind of river that you can rest your limbs in even though it’s ice cold because it’s so refreshing. until i find that perfect river, i’m curious to try out this place. if you happen to know of a place that isn’t ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD, that might fit the bill of what i’m looking for, please send me info.

**

on friday i was road-tripping with the one and only ashtastic, who wrote about our adventure here. we were on the way to morro bay to see our beloved holley seals, and we happened to make a little detour to the madonna inn. and that’s where we basically lost.our.minds. i don’t know if it was the multi-colored patterned carpet, or the gilded mirrors, or the doll that was swinging from the ceiling, or the giant silk pink roses, but this place is like kitsch on crack. and somehow, that makes it fantastic. i mean, yes, super gaudy and over-the-top, but in the most brilliant way. the amount of effort that has gone into this place is evident as everywhere you look there is something whimsical to see. they also boast 109 rooms, each decorated according to a particular theme.

i mean, look at the detailing in these rooms. they just BEG for a photoshoot:


and yes, this is me absurdly posing in front of the hotel’s sign. sigh. if only i’d had a real camera with me to capture the hot pinkness of it all.

**

on saturday night we attended a dear friend’s wedding which was everything you want a wedding to be. which in reality, actually comes down to one thing: that the love between the bride and groom is so abundant that it is felt in every atom of the air. that’s the secret to the very best weddings.

as we sat listening to the writings and prayers about marriage i squeezed dev’s hand tightly. to be in a partnership that is whole, complete and constantly improving is something i hope to never take for granted.

**

 

 

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