THE COZYHUNTER
// she's only happy in the sun.
30
Oct 11
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seeing beauty in the ordinary.

it’s a pretty awesome thing when the things you do ‘just for fun’ align with your ‘work’. this week’s episode of soulpancake is one of those situations. from a young age i feel like i’ve ‘noticed’ things that i feel like most people would overlook. maybe i’m just easily distracted, but i find that when you go a bit slower and really look at your surroundings, there are curiosities everywhere. leaves shaped like hearts, and cracks in the sidewalk the shape of japan, and doors with paint chipping off to reveal the layers of brightly colored paint beneath. i guess a lot of the stuff i’m enamored with isn’t that exciting to most people, but to me, there’s a certain artistry in it all. cloud formations streaking blue skies, the interplay of shadows, and puddles that reflect the trees. i mean, i know this may sound trite, but there really is beauty everywhere, you just have to look for it.

so that was the premis of this week’s episode. pardis and i had a blast foraging for 40 frames from the various thrift stores around LA, and then pardis took on the giant task of painting them all gold. but not just any gold. i had a very specific gold in mind. which reminds me, if anyone is interested in helping me hang 40 empty gold frames on a giant wall in our new house. let me know :)

SoulPancake: Framed

SoulPancake takes to the streets with a wall full of frames and asks passersby to look for something beautiful in their surroundings and “frame” it.

28
Oct 11
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six awesome things for your friday.

1. a suspended maze made entirely out of packing tape.

2. matt moore’s murals

3. randy p. martin’s ridiculously awesome photostream

4. this series of portraits by guy coombs.

(side note: dear nori, apologies in advance for dressing you in clothes that match wallpapers, but i’m pretty attached to recreating this shoot once a month until you turn 1. or 100.)

5. remember that time we got evicted from our storage unit? here’s why.

6. i’m a sucker for children in hand made costumes which is why i am smitten with this series.

27
Oct 11
5 comments

letter to our little one. part 3.

dear nori,

today my iPhone informed me that you are a whole 23 weeks old. it also informed me that you weigh just over a pound, that you are the size of a small melon, and you now have eyebrows. of course, every milestone of yours feels like a cause for celebration as far as i’m concerned. so i’m all WHOA! EYEBROWS?! AWESOME!

and before we go any further, let me just remind you (and the world) that nori is not your actual name. it started off as our codename for you, and now your papa has become pretty attached to it. and by nature of us not having settled on any other real name, this is what we call you. but rest assured, i’m constantly thinking about actual names.

this week your gramma-cita (dev’s mum) has come to visit to help us settle into our new abode. she came with a big suitcase of things for you, and let’s just say that i think you have enough clothes to last you through to your teens. together we went on my first real baby store shopping adventure and in between feeling overwhelmed by IT ALL, i fell in love with this crib for you. and of course, it happens to be the most expensive crib in all the land, but in my defense, it’s OVAL and expandable, so when you’re a baby we can make it a small egg shape, and as you grow, it grows with you. and see how happy this mother is with her baby in this crib?! i mean, surely it’s worth it! :)

i’m already learning so much about your little personality. for example, every day around 3pm you start kicking pretty energetically and this lasts all afternoon and into the evening. it’s so amazing to ‘feel’ you both on the inside and the outside. and in those moments it’s so REAL that you are inside my basketball sized belly and that one day your little feet will be on the outside. and OMIGOODNESS just wait till you see the socks and shoes they make for babies! i mean, it’s actually not fair how cute they are. there should be laws about this sort of thing to protect poor defenseless first time parents. your auntie ashley has purchased my favorite pair so far – they are brown with little orange ‘claws’ on the toe parts so when you wear them we will call you our little creature, and the whole world will roll their eyes in unison.

where was i? oh yeah, your womb acrobatics. you spin and turn and manoever your little body as you explore your womb world, and yet when your papa eagerly puts his hands on my belly to feel you and talks and sings to you,  you suddenly stop and you get very, very, still. it’s like you are soaking up his voice and you don’t want to miss a moment of it, and little nori, it’s pretty much the most heart-melting thing in the world. dev’s head pushed up against you, singing made-up songs and letting you know just how intensely loved you are.

and seeing devon in this new light as your father, is one of the most beautiful aspects of my pregnancy. he will be such a good papa and if you follow his example by loving people indiscriminately, striving for excellence, and spreading happiness wherever you go, then i’ll be the proudest mama around.

i heard once that love is the most powerful nutrient in the world, and the love we feel for you honestly fills us up in a way nothing else can.

love,

mama

25
Oct 11
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24
Oct 11
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new habitat

so a LOT happened this weekend.

first of all, i should explain that when it comes to the big ‘adult’ decisions in life my decision process usually goes something like this:

1. feel overwhelmed by the decision
2. make a mental pros and cons list
3. weigh up what would happen if i didn’t make a decision
4. worry that something will happen if a decision isn’t made immediately, and thus make a snap decision
5. feel remorse over the snap decision
6. ask at least 4 people for advice
8. fret some more
7. consult with dev and come up with a decision together that makes sense

so as you can see, i EVENTUALLY get to the right step…but the road there is a bit dramatic.

the house-hunting decision was no different. the list of what we wanted was quite elaborate:

+ enough space for our baby & our guests
+ staying close to silverlake/los feliz
+ a yard / useable outdoor space
+ the ability to have plants inside! and friends over! and wear heels if i wanted to! which can all be summed up as: no crazy landlord
+ a location where i could easily walk places. even at night. without getting shanked.
+ a place where we wouldn’t have to worry about noise – as in, dev could play piano/guitar at midnight, and i wouldn’t have to hear the neighbors bicker as i put our future child to sleep.
+ a place with character. as in, no cookie cutter apartment buildings please.

and so as we searched we found places that filled some of these requirements, but not all of them, and then this past weekend we went to each of our top two choices (the ones i’d talked about in my previous blog post) and both of them seemed unsuitable on our second visit. i was getting pretty despondent and then dev checked the listings and found one place in atwater village that we’d crossed off the list for being out of our budget range, had JUST come down on its price! so we went to see it again, and as we walked through the house, stood in the backyard, and explored the neighborhood it was obvious that this house was meant to be our next abode.

so within hours we signed the lease and here i am, sitting in our breakfast nook – gazing out through giant windows at our front lawn and the passersby walking with their dogs and babies in strollers. and i can say with complete certainty that we made the right decision.

21
Oct 11
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dilemmas & decisions.

so we have found not one, but two little abodes that may be perfect for us, and we cannot  decide which one we want to make our next habitat.

i described the conundrum to a friend like this -

there are two men wooing you. one shows up on a tandem bike he built, with wildflowers tied together with string and a picnic basket full of your favorite foods, and together you cycle to a park, lay on the grass under a big shady tree and eat strawberries off (recyclable) paper plates.

the other turns up in a vintage thunderbird convertible with plush cream leather interior, and together you take off down the highway alongside the ocean, while the breeze whips through your hair ending up at a small boutique french cafe that serves perfect espressos and chocolate croissants that melt in your mouth.

see, there’s really no wrong option here. but they both offer two very different experiences. and that’s why we’re stuck. and i know that situation number one might sound more aligned with the gol & dev you know, but we are also coming to the terms that we are now *ahem* adults, adults with busy lives who will soon parents (!), gradually gaining momentum with our projects and successes, and so all of that causes us to rethink our slightly bohemian ways.

we are weighing up all the pros and cons. the walking distance to things. neighborhood. light. outdoor areas. noise. safety. community. and most importantly SANITY OF THE LANDLORD.

and where one abode wins in some aspects, the other wins in others.

and all the while, my little womb tenant keeps growing. 22 weeks now!

18
Oct 11
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how to get evicted from a storage unit.

i don’t know it was the fact that i was dressed like an oompa loompa. or if it was the fort we built around our camera gear. or perhaps rainn wilson thwarting his low-carb diet as he polished off a stack of 10 pancakes whilst cycling on a stationary exercise bike from the 70s, but SOMEHOW we drew attention to ourselves today at our storage unit. and then we got royally told off. and then we were told to expect an eviction notice in the mail.

considering that we were paying $200 a month for this little cube of cement space we didn’t think it was a huge deal to shoot a quick promo in there. but i guess it is a big deal because according to the manager of the facility you are only allowed to STORE things in a storage unit. no filming. no photography. definitely no pancake eating or oompa loompa activity allowed.

(in my defense, i was supposed to be playing the role of a ‘mover’ and so i’d purchased these white movers overalls, but the only size available was extra large. and thus, the crotch hung down at my knees and that’s why i resembled an oompa loompa)

so now we have a week to figure out where to relocate all the SoulPancake props and all of our furniture. which leads me to some happy news:

we think we’ve found a new habitat!

it’s located in the silverlake area just a few miles from the reservoir and some of my favorite eateries. it has 2 bedrooms, and has not one, but THREE, little outdoor areas. that’s three places where i can go outside, curl up on a chair and pretend i’m not in LA. it’s a spanish style duplex which means awesome high ceilings, charming little porticos in the cement walls, and nooks that you have no idea the purpose of, which is perfect for someone like me who always needs a nook to cram a bunch of analog cameras. and it has a garage where we can store all these crazy props from our productions.

we’ve sent in our application but we’re still looking at other options while we wait just.in.case. something else shows up or we don’t get the apartment.

in other happy news, it was ash’s birthday yesterday so a bunch of us had dinner at cowboys and turbans (think indian food smashed together with mexican food). it was a lovely night under trees and bare bulbs, celebrating one of the best of the best.

OH and her sweet friend, melody, made her this amazing cake which is basically a bunch of cake pops chilling on a MOUNTAIN of sour patch kids. if there was ever a cake that summed up ashley ludwin this would be it.

17
Oct 11
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on tee vee.

there are a few moments in life lately that are really surreal. like when we are apartment hunting and i catch a glance of myself in a full length mirror in some empty apartment and am shocked by how big my belly is. or i’ll be outside admiring the pink flowers on all the trees (fall in LA is like a second spring) and thinking about how on earth i got to be standing on this patch of the planet. i could have landed anywhere, yet here i am, in los feliz california wearing a tank top in october and admiring pink flowers against a blue sky.

yesterday morning i experienced another one of those surreal moments. dev and i woke up before 8 to watch the first ever soulpancake episode debut on national television. so, there we were sitting on a blanket on the floor with our TV propped up on a foot stool (remember how we’re ‘in between’ homes?) and dev’s music starts playing as the theme music for the entire Super Soul Sunday block. it’s the first time dev’s music has been used in this kind of capacity and i’m so proud of him for seizing this opportunity. i remember countless nights of listening to the same bar of music being played over. and over. and over again as he perfected it. anyone who meets us might, at first glance, think i’m the control freak in this duo. but get to know dev in a work capacity and he out-perfects all of us. if it’s not exactly-how-it-is-supposed-to-be, then it’s not right. what i would let pass at 90%, with the argument that no one is really going to notice, is no where NEAR what dev is willing to let slide. which means that when he puts something into the world he has literally poured hours of his life into it. and the reason it is so good is because of those countless hours. not a fluke. not just innate talent. it’s really hard work. all with the ‘support’ of me, his wife, yelling from the bedroom “i don’t understand?!! that sounds EXACTLY the same as it did two hours ago”.

so we sat through the interview and doco about the man who ‘sees’ angels & demons, and then in the final 5 minutes of the three hour block oprah introduced soulpancake. i realize that the world seems to be divided into two camps when it comes to oprah. there are the masses that love her, have grown up on her and are huge fans. and then there are the grumbly oprah haters. i have always fit squarely in camp one. i often came home from school and watched oprah and looking back, i think she was a great example to me of a strong woman who was fulfilling her purpose while staying genuine and sincere to who she was. she had guts. she faced crisis bravely. she didn’t pretend she was perfect and moreover, ‘service’ seems to be a central focus in her life she. i appreciated her conviction, her sense of humor and the way she tried to empower others. i didn’t religiously watch every show, or buy (or agree) with all her book club choices, but she is someone i have a huge amount of respect for. so yeah, hearing her talk about soulpancake was awesome on many levels.

dev sat side by side watching our segment and then stared at each other incredulously when it was all over. we both know firsthand how much work has gone into this project, and not just on our parts, but so many other people who have poured hours of dedication, belief and passion into these episodes. the soulpancake team is made up of a an ever-growing, expanding group of individuals. and it wouldn’t exist without this diverse collaboration of minds and energies. we’re so excited to be part of this team and can’t wait to see what the future holds for all of us.

14
Oct 11
8 comments

half.way.

1. yesterday i started my 21st week of pregnancy.

2. this means i’m over half way done with the process of growing a baby.

3. this calls for a HOLY MOLY in all caps.

4. because frankly, the past 20 weeks zoomed by. and so wrapping my head around the fact that in another 20 weeks i’ll be holding my child, makes me feel a bit like that moment on a rollercoaster when you are a the very top of the first crest and you know that any second you are going to plummet towards the earth and start screaming. and all the while, realizing that you CHOSE this ride.

5. so the bump touching has begun and by that i mean people (friends and strangers) want to touch my belly, which i’m actually not in the least bit perturbed by, because I CAN’T STOP TOUCHING MY BELLY. it’s so freaking amazing to feel little nori move about inside me and since rubbing my belly is the closest i can get to hugging him, well then so be it.

6. i had all these plans to get creative and take daily photos of the bump progress and montage them into something spectacular. but i haven’t followed through on any of those plans. so here’s the latest shot of me care of dev’s iPhone and the only excuse for my dishevelment is that my hair was washed with hand soap. #forgiveme

7. don’t let the cozy slippers fool you. it’s still far too hot in LA.

14
Oct 11
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13
Oct 11
2 comments

all melty.

so it seems LA doesn’t really ‘do’ fall. the leaves on the trees are still kermit-the-frog green and the cloudless skies don’t even pretend that they will offer rain anytime soon. and though i often proclaim that i’m only happy in the sun, this week has been incredibly warm and i’m so over it. in fact, now i’m only grumpy in the sun.

i guess i thought the whole ‘bun in the oven’ thing was just a silly saying. but now i get it. it’s because in this pregnant state i’m constantly on the verge of overheating. i could actually cook a bun if you placed it on my belly and waited a few minutes. so that whole pregnancy glow thing? yeah, that’s just sweat.

after learning that it was going to be ONE HUNDRED degrees in LA today i decided to camp out at a nearby coffee shop. but i’m still hot. and i’m getting hotter watching people drink hot coffee. i want to point out the iced options, but that’s all someone would want. to be accosted by a grumpy woman in a shirt that’s awkwardly stretching over her belly demanding you order your drink ICED.

i have always had a bit of an attitude about air conditioning but now i’m craving a cool space. give me an airplane with those freezing jets of cold air. or a hotel conference room with those inescapable vents. or alaska.

instead i’ve resorted to pressing my iced tea against my chest. and arms. and forehead. charming.

12
Oct 11
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it’s just like camping. kinda. sorta.

the thing about being semi-homeless and living of a suitcase and using plastic cutlery is at some point you give up whining about it and you just learn to embrace it. the fact that i have to choose between only two pairs of shoes. or have no option other than wearing the same leggings everyday. or that i need to wash my cereal bowl so dev can eat his cereal makes life really, really, simple.

and there are things that just won’t get done, like plucking my rampant eyebrows, because i think my tweezers ended up in a crammed storage unit. but that just leaves room for lots of other productive things like going to the neighborhood library and coming out with an armful of books about birth and babies. so move aside people, the woman with a protruding belly and a monobrow needs to do some reading about CROWNING.

AND i can get away with looking slovenly because the excuse of ‘we’re homeless’ isn’t one you can really fight with. especially because until three days ago we were washing our hair with hand soap.

see all the silver-linings here?

in the ‘other’ moments, the moments when the words ‘silver-lining’ makes me despondent, because lining makes me think of drawers, which makes me think about how we don’t have any, which makes me think about how all i want to do is fill them up with baby clothes,  well, in those moments i check craigstlist for the umpteenth time.

in other news, my lovely friend lara visited from london and then she went crazy at yogurtland. as you do. :)

11
Oct 11
5 comments

mini DG in the making.

anyone who has spent over 3 minutes with my husband knows that he’s got abounding energy. that’s the polite way of saying it. the other version would be: take 3 toddlers who have eaten a bunch of cake, add a puppy and an zumba instructor and blend them together and THAT concoction is the amount of energy dev can bust out with at any moment. luckily, i find it pretty endearing, although at times exhausting, and ultimately it means that no matter where i am, if i’m with him, it’s a bit of a party.

so i guess it shouldn’t have really come as a surprise that devon’s child would also possess some of this joie de vivre. yes, i’ve begun to feel little nori move. and it’s not just like butterflies or indigestion as the pregnancy apps keeps describing. it’s more like when you first get a goldfish and it’s in one of those plastic bags and as it swims around it kinda bangs into the side of the bag. it’s a very distinct feeling – a shifting and manouevering of a tiny body inside MY body. err. what?

suffice to say, it’s a trip. i mean, a beautiful, wonderful, miraculous trip. but a trip all the same.

 

10
Oct 11
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all taped up.

i love the simplicity of the approach of the street art created by aakash nihalani.

09
Oct 11
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08
Oct 11
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lovely.

i love this visual treat dreamed up by the fabulous miss moss, where she placed the new kenzo collection inside paintings.

06
Oct 11
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letter to our little one // part 2

when dev and i first found out that i was pregnant we decided that while i was in the somewhat fragile early stages, we’d keep the news pretty quiet. which was incredibly hard for both of us to do. one day dev suggested i start writing letters to ‘nori’ (that’s his codename for the baby) so that i could at least have some kind of outlet for my hard-to-contain-excitement. so over the course of the past few months i wrote a few of these letters.
[written on july 6th]

today i saw a miracle – your infinitesimally small heart beating. it was just a tiny flickering flash in the middle of an inexplicable bundle – a twinkling star is the closest thing i can compare it to. and i’ve experienced a lot of profound beauty in my life, but experiencing your heartbeat was one of the most magical moments i’ve ever encountered.

your father and i arrived early to our appointment, both nervous and excited and wide-eyed. when the doctor did the ultrasound i desperately searched the screen for you. the doctor pointed to what looked like a tiny grain of rice, and declared “well, yes. you are certainly pregnant. we can all agree on that”. i gasped. i grabbed for your father’s sweating hands and we just clutched each other staring at the screen. we both tried to contain our excitement but our elation was obvious. the doctor did some measuring and came up with your estimated due date – february 28 2012. wow.

i’m still at a loss for the adequate words to how to explain how i’m feeling. it’s so foreign for me to feel this level of fear. i suppose it’s the first time i’ve felt such a personal investment in another person’s heartbeat. once again, the responsibility of it all, of you, floors me.

we are having a difficult time keeping you a secret and have decided that tonight we’ll tell your grandparents. if she was still with us, it would have been your great-grandmother carol’s birthday today and i know that she had a hand in this so we feel it’s only right that we give this gift of you to your grandmother, nikki. it makes me smile to think of our parents as your grandparents – you are such a lucky little one as your grandparents are of the highest caliber and they will completely adore you.

i downloaded a bunch of pregnancy apps on my iPhone and they tell me that you are now about the size of a pea. which is supposedly 10,000 % the size you were one month ago. i can’t even get my head around what’s happening. cells dividing and organs forming and limbs sprouting and the fact that there are two hearts beating in my body. what?!

and i’m also learning how to manage the physical ramifications. i’m tired. exhausted. i want to nap in a cool room with crisp white sheets and read books for days. i feel nauseous all the time but strangely i still have an appetite and i guess you might be taking after your papa in your tastes because all i’m craving is meat. today i ate a bunch of roast beef and half a steak for dinner. only your father would think of that as a balanced meal.

there’s also a bit of latent sadness lingering. i can’t pinpoint where it stems from but i think it has to do with being alone. i don’t have my mother here. and though we have close friends in LA, we are not super close to other young parents who have been through this. all the new mothers i’m close to are in nashville or australia. so for now, my world of support feels small and intimate.

but i have you. and it fills my heart to know that even in my loneliest moments, my soul is sharing this body with another precious soul. thank you for being with me.

05
Oct 11
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rainy.

while other parts of the country have already gotten into the full swing of fall, LA seemed to have missed the memo. with blue skies and an obstinate sun, i was beginning to get irritated. and then today i woke up to RAIN. and not just a 5 minute splattering, but a real downpour.

happiness.

and instead of sitting inside, cozy with a cup of decaf (the things we do to protect heirloom tomato sized babes), i decided it was time to test out LA’s public transport.

in the rain.

keep in mind that the belongings i packed for our temporary stay at my uncle’s house are sparse to say the least. we currently have lavender hand soap wearing many hats as it functions as body wash, shampoo and conditioner. our bed is made up of a slab of memory foam on the floor and dev can’t find any of his yellow headbands so you know things are rough. also, my uncle’s guest house is just an empty house, it doesn’t have kitchenware, or appliances, or furniture. all this to say, i certainly don’t have access to rain gear – no umbrella, no real jacket, and only one pair of shoes – which are made entirely of cloth.

and yet i faced all this unpreparedness in the face, and decided that today i’d get a bus to old town pasadena. why? because i wanted to go shopping for more maternity leggings. why the urgency? because i risk wearing a hole in the one pair i keep rocking.

my iPhone told me that the bus stop was a mere 7 minute walk away. how convenient. so off i went. and within moments i was soaked. not just damp, i’m talking water-trickling-off-the-end-of-my-nose-wet. and yet this didn’t deter me. i kept walking, hugging my bag/phone closer to my chest, determined to get to the bus stop. i felt a bit like a fugitive with a deadline. all around me people in their cars whooshed by warm and safe. but not me, the pregnant fugitive, i was walking dammit. the only other person i encountered on the street was a homeless man. who somehow looked more dry than i was. in fact, i’d venture to say that he looked at me with sympathy.

i kept marching. my toms squelching with each step and the ankles of my leggings sagging and waterlogged.

and as i approached the bus stop i realized that i didn’t have any cash. and then i panicked. i have NO idea what currency LA buses take. it could be a token system for all i know. there wasn’t an ATM in sight and i don’t know if it’s just naivety or stupidity but i convinced myself that i could get on the bus and if they didn’t take cards, i’d just explain i didn’t have cash and i’d still get a ride. my faith in humanity is obviously still intact.

and as i made this decision and geared up to cross the large intersection to get to the bus stop, THE BUS PULLED UP. and there was no time to run, and there was nothing i could do. it picked up the other passengers and callously drove off. leaving me stranded on the other side of the street. a wet-footed heap of disappointment.

and so i turned around and i trudged home. i gave up jumping over the puddles and just waded through the gutters. i thought about how much i had longed for rain. and how the novelty had already started to wear off.

03
Oct 11
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did i mention that our ex-landlord is the bane of our existence?

so, we have finally moved out of our first little apartment in california. and it was traumatic. partially because i’m carrying a ‘large heirloom tomato’ in my womb (this is the description that my iphone pregnancy app gave me for ‘nori’s’ current size last week), and partially because we really loved our place and how it was always littered with rainbows, and partially because moving is such a headache, but mostly because our landlord made sure that our final breaths in that apartment would be spent in a yelling match with him.

first of all, i spent hours cleaning the apartment once our stuff was gone. it was cleaner than the way we received it. isn’t that a boy scout motto or something? leave something in better condition than how you found it? well the boy scouts would be so proud of me. i deserve a badge. or at least some cookies. wait, that’s the girl scouts. wait, what do the boy scouts sell? how do they make money? do the girl scouts share their money with the boy scouts? i’m getting derailed.

the point was, we left the place spotless. i even deep cleaned the refrigerator and scrubbed the walls. in my pregnant state no less where every smell, even that of a fresh rose bud with a droplet of dew on it, leaves me feeling nauseous.

sidenote: wasn’t the nausea supposed to be over by now? also, when does that whole pregnancy glow thing start. because i’m not feeling that either.

anyway, because i’m a naive little sprite, i was actually in a pretty hopeful mood about the walk through. there was nothing that i could see that our maniacal landlord could accuse us of. you know, except for breathing. and looking him in the eye. (which, i should add, is difficult on the best of days, since he has one cross-eyed glass eye that needs cleaning.)

but of course our walk through experience with our ex-landlord was atrocious. he told us flat out that he is keeping our security deposit and using it to refinish the floorboards in the dining room and bedroom because somehow we ‘wore them down’…you know, with our walking and whatnot. he even bought along two of his cronies as backup and they all stood around tsking at the sight of the floors while dev and i stood wide-eyed and incredulous, because the floors have always been in this shape. we don’t have pets. we barely wear shoes. dev did all of 3 days of p90x before deciding it was torture. there is no way we made this damage. but you can’t reason with a crazy man.

he then told us that we couldn’t take our lights with us. (when we moved into the apartment we replaced the ugly light fixtures in the kitchen/bedroom with ikea lights that i’m quite fond of). but since we are not ‘licensed electricians’ he wouldn’t let us remove them.

and that’s when we lost our cool. and we probably should have taken the ‘high road’ but next thing i knew dev was up on the counter in the kitchen with a screwdriver, eyes flashing with anger as he started removing the fixtures and yelling at our landlord. and i’m standing there hoping dev doesn’t electrocute himself and then half-laughing because of course our landlord would make our final moments as hellish as he could.

so, the lesson here is 1. don’t sign a lease with a three page addendum of CRAZY things that you agree to because you are so smitten with the apartment. 2. don’t ever live in the same building as your landlord. oh, 3. and take photos of your rental property when you first move in.

anyway. we are now staying at my uncle’s guest apartment in los feliz. it’s sweet and cozy and we’re so grateful that he’s letting us crash here but i’ve made finding our next abode my fulltime job and i’m hopeful that we can figure it out by the end of this month. because the burgeoning mama in me wants to carve out a space for a nursery, and fold tiny baby clothes and hang mobiles made of felt balls.

and i know all of this is manageable. and i realize how lucky we are to actually have options. and i’m sorry to come off sounding like such a whinypants the past few days. but it’s been a pretty big upheaval at a time in my life when i feel a bit  less agile, energetic and adept at dealing with stress so THANK YOU to all the people who sent me sweet comments and emails and to melody and ash for  letting us stay on your couch this weekend.

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