i’m reading books again.
it’s like taking a long, refreshing, cool drink of water and only realizing how thirsty you are when you’re in the middle of it. i had really missed books. i read all the time, but not books. not cover to cover REAL made-out-of-paper books. and it feels like coming home. i’m remined that OH yeah, this is what i used to do escape/understand/be entertained. i’m currently in the middle of Cheryl Strayed’s ‘tiny beautiful things‘. it’s so damn good that i keep texting my friends extracts and telling them they HAVETOREADITIMMEDIATELY. it’s a collection of responses to a kind of help column that Strayed wrote for under the psuedonym ‘Sugar’. people would send in letters about their troubles and dilemmas, and her responses to them are so good – personal, encouraging, real, raw, unfiltered, relatable. i am going to be forever changed from this book and i just wish i’d read it sooner.
i *think* i have a plan.
i used to write more consistently on this platform. and then my 2 sons came along and time became such a luxury. for a long time i felt like i didn’t really have the option of using up any spare minutes for the purpose of writing for myself. but i’ve missed it. and so i emailed some of my friends and asked for advice on what i should do – and my quandary because if i did write again, i didn’t want to be stuck in a ‘mommy blogger’ niche. below are extracts from some of my most favorite responses:
“Oh i have a whole list of random little articles I think i should write. One of them is: ‘I am afraid of my friend’s 2 year old’ or ‘Education system in shambles: the day I realized that I thought any guy who used any sort of accurate punctation was a catch’.”
“we can summarise three decades as: i went from human to robot and maybe back to human again. we’ll see how that all ends. ”
“sorry if my advice stinks! i can’t be a mom, write a dissertation, create a human, AND GIVE GOOD ADVICE! IT’S TOO MUCH!”
“i feel the same way – what do i do? write about being a single (fml), cat-less, 33 year old without children? do i write about OTHER PEOPLE’S CHILDREN (hey maybe that’s a really good blog idea)”
“DON’T BE KIND. Be just. You have nothing to prove to anyone. So don’t be afraid to write about your experiences as you experienced them.
the best advice though?
“WWBD? (What would Bjork do???!)”
and so here’s what i’m considering. i’m going to create a sort of writers collective. nothing dramatic. just a collaborative space online where a few of my friends who also love to write, but don’t necessarily want the onus of a blog to maintain, can all contribute. maybe there will be a theme each month. maybe there won’t. maybe it will just be a piece of internet real estate that only our moms check. we’ll see.
the new sphq.
i vividly remember the day shabs, dev, and i, walked through our first brick and mortar soulpancake office in atwater village, los angeles. we looked around at all.the.space and wondered how on earth we’d fill it. it seemed excessive considering there were just three of us and a part time office manager. but we did fill it. with art we made from string, and spraypaint, and post it notes. and then very soon after, with humans with passionate creativity, expansive hearts, and brilliant minds. we packed it with ideas, and equipment, and enthusiastic interns. we filled it to the brim with cupcakes, and spontaneous dance parties, and rugs that dev was convinced were shedding microscopic particles that were lodging in his lung chambers (i kid you not). it’s been nearly 3 years and over the weekend everything was packed up and moved to our new office – a huge space we are sharing with our good friends. last friday shabs sent me photos of our old space – emptied out completely, and i felt this heartache-y sense of nostalgia mingled with pride. the same feeling i had packing up phix and zavi’s newborn clothes and knowing they would never be that size again. everything is changing and evolving and growing up. and it is all so great, but still a little hard.