// she's only happy in the sun.
Apr 12

because everyone deserves to feel validated.

i’m sure you’ve seen this video doing the social media rounds. it was posted on my facebook wall by the lovely calla and not only is the story super heartwarming, but i also really appreciate the filmmaker’s visual style. there is SUCH an art to good storytelling in film…and i am instantly won over when cinematographers compose their shots carefully in order to make each scene look like a beautiful photograph.

watching this little film, i see a ‘caine’ in all of us who are diligently doing our ‘work’ (whatever that looks like), striving for excellence and offering our creations to the world with wide-eyed optimism. i love that this young child persevered and followed through with his passion project even without any customers, and how much care and thought he put into his inventions. i am inspired by his unbridled imagination and his dedication. and i was also struck by the beautiful simplicity of the message at its core. basically one person decided to unabashedly validate another person. and i think that’s why our hearts are touched. it is truly as simple as that.

and i find it a bit sad that it takes videos like this for us to be reminded of what is actually important…but i’m not sure that championing and upholding another person’s worth isn’t always top of our ‘to do’ lists. i feel like we are conditioned to place emphasis on ourselves and told to ‘stand out from the crowd’ by championing and upholding what we do and what we’ve accomplished. and while i think having a healthy sense of self worth is absolutely essential, i think that the pendulum has swung a little too far in that direction when we forget to applaud and lift up and serve those around us.

on a daily basis i watch as my mother selflessly takes care of every.single.household task so that i can focus entirely on phoenix, and there is no better example to me of how to give tirelessly without a single trace of self. she serves the people around her so joyfully, so innocently, so readily, without need for reward or praise or even acknowledgement. she is, for sure, one of my living heroes.

in the past few months i’ve found myself magnetized even more strongly towards projects and people who have that outward orientation, who walk the talk with their desire to better the world in both big and small ways. i want to be part of a culture that is supportive and engenders growth and since i believe we create our realities, i have found myself aligning with people that offer themselves without calculating give and take. and perhaps because i’m now a mama with even less time to dispense, i have started to gently release from my life, people who are wholly self-involved and have ulterior motives or false facades. instead i ask to be met with honesty, with heart, and without agenda. the people-pleaser in me is going to take a backseat, and my boundaries are going to be more resolved so that my energies can instead go into doing my part to validate all the ‘caine’s’ i encounter on a daily basis.

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6 comments on “because everyone deserves to feel validated.”

  1. calla Says:

    so happy to see you posted this! i’ve been thinking about the story of Nirvan and Caine a lot since first viewing the film. i wonder, though, if it’s not actually easier to champion the work of others over our own. i know for myself i fear the failure of putting my own self and work out there, so i’ll focus on other around me and the good things they are doing. there is no fear of failure that comes from that. just something that’s been rattling around in my brain.

  2. anna Says:

    and this, in a nutshell, is why you are my fav blogger.

  3. Mirielle Says:

    There should be a “Love” button in your blog. I saw this video the other day and simply loveee it!

  4. mallory Says:

    in short (in response to everything you ever so eloquently wrote) – YES.

    i watched this with my mother and sister the other night and we wept (with happiness / with being-touched-ness). a weeping trio of mcinnis women. my sister especially, as she’s currently teaching the same grade that caine is in.

  5. Cait Says:

    aaaaand I’m weeping happy-tears. Holy smokes, did this video burst my heart into pieces.

  6. mucicamala Says:

    happy in german.
    Today I felt so weird, wanted to go back to my country.
    after this…happy tears.
    thank you

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