coffee mug note care of devon.
first of all thank you so much for the sweet comments, notes, emails that you’ve sent dev and I about our announcement. we are so excited and yet still in that phase where we wake up in the morning (whenever we please) (and yes, i know this is a luxury we’re going to soon lose), look at each other and then at the space between us and then one of us will exclaim: OMIGOODNESS there will soon be a baby in this spot. an actual baby. OUR child. and then we gaze at the empty space like the baby is already there, and talk about all the things we will do when he arrives. like chew on his cheeks and nibble on his feet and sing nonsensical songs and never get out of bed ever again.
which reminds me, i have no idea how we are going to get any work done when this child arrives. oh yeah, that’s right, i’m importing my mother from australia.
the whole announcement experience was so much fun as we have been wanting to share this news for so long, and it was super convenient that we had an entire soulpancake camera crew at our disposal to shoot our giddy message. but i need to also mention something a little uncomfortable. because that’s what i’m learning to do in the space. talk about the great but also be honest about the not-so-great.
so here it is: there are certain people in your life, who may even feign friendship with you, that refuse to share in your happiness. and this isn’t actually a new realization…but it was quite clear to me with this experience that unfortunately there are those who cannot bring themselves to express/feel/embrace the happiness of others. i guess sharing in another person’s joy is just not part of their mode-of-operation. in the times when i’ve experienced this sort of ‘reaction’ with someone i feel like i know reasonably well, it always feels like it stems from an undercurrent of fear and rivalry. which is both disconcerting and sad.
and as you too may have experienced there are people who will support you, cheer for you, get excited along with you. and there are those, so mired down by their own issues and self-doubt that they cannot meet you in your joy. and in fact, some of those people will even critizize you for being so happy/expressive…and would prefer that you just ‘dial it down’ a notch.
i do not believe that experiencing another person’s joy will rob you of your own. in fact, i think that if our interactions were less fear / competition based and if we truly worked to see each other as part of one big human family, we’d all be happier. if you find yourself feeling resentment/hurt/fear when faced with other people’s good news, i’d strongly suggest you get to the bottom of it, because that’s a very compromised way to use up your hours on this earth.