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// she's only happy in the sun.
Jan 12

letter to our little one // part 7.

dear ‘nori’,

let’s start with the process of naming you. first of all, far too many people keep insisting that we just name you nori. yep, your womb-name (thanks to your papa) has grown on everyone – including our close friends, strangers, and even my mother. just so you know, i am taking this whole naming thing very seriously (unlike your papa who once suggested ‘goji berry gundry’ and ‘roast beef gundry’). i’ve scoured the internet and even explored names in languages such as aboriginal and arabic. i have done so much research that regrettably a portion of my brain is now filled with celebrity’s kid’s names. knowledge that will probably never be useful unless i’m on a game show or need to drum up parenting small talk with angelina jolie. i didn’t have a lot of prerequisites when it came to choosing your name – but after a lifetime of hearing my name pronounced very… ‘creatively’ (goldritz, gloris, growls, gorlis, gold-reeves, etc.) i was determined that your name would be easy to pronounce, you know, as opposed to a name that people felt the need to dislocate their jaw in order to say out loud. unbeknownst to the masses, your father and i *think* we have found the perfect name for you. it was the first name that both of us heard and fell in love with instantly. for now, we are keeping it a secret as we want to meet you first and make sure it fits, before we announce it to the world.

i think you might be getting a little cramped in your womb room these days as you are now about 19 inches long and approximately 3.5 pounds. i can’t seem to buy produce these days without comparing it to your weight and size. melons, grapefruit, bunches of bananas – they all get comparatively measured to you. and the next thing you know i’m walking around the store rocking a pineapple in my arms.

your movements have changed from little kicks and fluttering waving hands to more forceful pushing and stretching. sometimes i wonder if you are trying to find an escape route and you think that if you push your back against my bellybutton hard enough, some secret passageway will open up and you’ll be released from your cramped quarters. actually, this exit strategy doesn’t sound so bad now that i’ve watched far too many live births on YouTube. #sorrybutmamaisstilltraumatized.

you may have noticed your parent’s sleep schedule has changed a bit the past few weeks. late nights and early morning starts mean we are about to start shooting the next round of soulpancake episodes. this also means you’ll be on tv again. although this time around there’s no hiding you under layers or with clever camera angles. i’m not really sure how i’m going to manage producing, art directing and being on-camera in my current situation, but i’ll figure it out, and even if i don’t the world will keep spinning on its axis and it will all.be.fine.

i think that’s one of the biggest lessons i’m learning with regards to this new journey with you. i am trying to let go of rigid expectations and pay less attention to that insistent voice that demands nothing but absolute perfectionism. i’m being kinder with myself and more understanding of my frailties. i’m learning to ask for help and to take care of my needs. i’m carving out time to go to my yoga classes, and to walk around our neighborhood hand-in-hand with your papa as we end our long days together. and i’m doing all this because of a deep desire to protect and shield you from anything heavy and harmful. i know that you are intimately connected to my feelings and during this final stretch in your womb room, i want you only to bask in the love and joy and wonder that i feel when i think about you.

mornings have fast become one of my favorite parts of the day. in those brief moments before the whirlwind of our day begins, it feels like our bed is an island where nothing can touch the three of us. i snuggle down into the blankets and hold you, waiting to feel you wake up and stretch. and you respond in turn, pushing your little body into my hands as i rub your back tenderly. and just when my heart feels like it’s at bursting point, your papa will wake with you as his very first thought. with bleary eyes he will press his lips against your little round form and sing songs to you. and in those fleeting minutes, the whole world seems absolutely perfect. i have everything i have ever wanted and i’m so grateful.


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13 comments on “letter to our little one // part 7.”

  1. los angelista Says:

    Aww… and the name you guys instantly fell in love with is Aragorn, right?

  2. golriz Says:

    haha. exactly ;)

  3. jess Says:

    i find myself reading your blog and growing a jealous rage! lol just kidding, i just really miss being pregnant. i long for the day i can carry another human in my womb again. my daughter is almost 4 and it seems like it was just yesterday i was holding her in my belly. i am so happy for you, please enjoy your last months of your pregnancy because even though you will be in pure bliss when the little one arrives, you will defiantly miss the close connection you share now. enjoy it! much love<3

  4. Sawdie Says:

    Love these blog posts. It makes me seriously consider having a baby, even though I’ll miss all my international travel when a baby is in my life, haha. Really hope I have as much fun in my pregnancy as you do. Congrats!

  5. It's Carmen Says:

    These are so precious to read! I’m intrigued now for the revelation of the name!

  6. Talia Says:

    Your writing makes me feel conected to you, Devon, and your wombed one. I would love hear about your birthing plans.

    You mentioned birthing videos. Perhaps you are taking a class? We took a Bradley Method course. Some people go into birthing with fears about the process. I read a ton of very empowering books that made me think, “I got this. I was made to give birth naturally and, by golly, I am going to rock this birth!” It was amazing how it worked out. I highly recommend it for you, the baby, AND the papa. ;D

    Sending you peace and love!

  7. Farideh Says:

    i love your blog. it’s so beautiful. thanks for sharing

  8. Lea Ciceraro Says:

    Thanks for sharing all of this. It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful.

  9. Naghmeh Says:

    Golriz joon, When I read your blogs about the sweet little baby growing in your womb… it takes me back to … I can say honestly it was THE BEST TIME OF MY LIFE… when I was pregnant with my boy. I felt untouchable, just like you mentioned, I was kinder to myself and no one and I mean no one was able to bother me in any way… IT WAS A MIRACLE. I didn’t want the little one to be affected by any negativity in the world. Whether if it was my own sensitivities, misunderstandings or someone having a bad day and lashing out. I was literally a giant rubber ball… it bounced off. LOL
    Your writing brings me to tears of joy almost everytime.
    Wishing you all the best and enjoy every second of your experience. (as I see in the pictures and read that you are) I am so happy for you guys. Much warm love to you!

  10. Mirielle Says:

    Hi!!! Really enjoyed reading all u say! You r funny :)
    Idea for a name if it’s a girl: Mirielle ( in Portuguese we say: me- dee- ally) (ps: the “di” is not really with a “d”… We kind of roll the “r” , and the “i” with it we pronounce “ee”) .
    It’s funny coz in Brazil(where I am from), my friends and family call me “Mi” and here in America(I live in Chicago btw :) ), when a close friend wants to introduce me to another people for example, it doesn’t work them to call me “Mi”. The conversation is like this:
    My friend introducing me to another friend: ” Hey, this is Mirielle”
    His friend: ” Hi, Miridhsisldelly… Wow hard name… Meedee what?”
    My friend: ” This is Mirielle… But you can call her “Mi”( the problem is that it’s pronounced exactly as “Me”)… So he says: This is ” Me” … Mmm …. Actually this is she but you can call her “me”… Haha
    I know… Nonsense :)

    It’s hard for the Americans to pronounce it… But people say it’s beautiful all the time :)

    Anyways, thanks for sharing this beautiful blog!

  11. Nikki Says:

    My eyes are full! My heart is fuller! I love you!

  12. mai-ling Says:

    i can understand the produce comparison.
    especially when What to Expect.com app
    say’s your baby is the size of a Large Plum.

  13. Mullica Says:

    Ahhh you look gorgeous lady! Good luck with the baby names. I’m sure you will come up with something appropriate, original, and lovely.

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