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// she's only happy in the sun.
Jan 13


dearest little darling,

i thought i’d try your letter in list form this time:

1. seemingly overnight, you transformed from a squishy, smiley baby, to a playful little child. there is this knowing spark in your eyes and a sense of newfound understanding about the world that surrounds you. you are becoming more independent and even starting to STAND unassisted. i blink and suddenly you’ve learned a new skill. it feels like weeks ago you were lying in my arms like the most angelic lump i’d ever witnessed and now you open cupboards and empty out the contents and place bowls on your head and laugh and laugh.

2. your giggles should be bottled up and prescribed as antidepressants.

3. a pretty hefty mullet was encroaching so i cut your hair for the second time, but i rushed and made a bit of a mess of it. your papa says i gave you a ‘monk’ hair cut. in my defense you were trying to eat the scissors i had in my hand so i wasn’t able to do my best work.

4. i don’t know if it’s because you’ve watched me sweep our hardwood floors almost-daily (because i know for sure it’s not a habit you’ve picked up from your father), but you’ve become enamored with brooms and ‘sweeping’. yes, there are cleaner things you could be playing with, but i try to look on the bright side and think about how you are BUILDING IMMUNITY! oh, is that a rock in your mouth? no problem – you’re just BUILDING IMMUNITY! wait, you’re chewing on the sole of my shoe that was just traipsing about the new york subway? no biggie. IMMUNITY! this illusion(?) helps me not want to vomit as much.

5. a few weeks ago, you went on your third big trip to date – it was a giant day of travel that started at 7am and (due to delayed flights) ended at 2am! we flew to brooklyn, new york to be with family and friends, and frolic together in one of our favorite cities in the world. you’ve been an amazing traveller – easy-going, and up for adventure even though we’ve totally messed with your routine/schedule. also, you’ve won over every passerby that sees you. i am constantly showered with compliments about you, and for the first time in my life, i’m finding it easy to smile and say thank you (instead of deflecting and/or dismissing) because i totally agree. i mean, BEHOLD YOUR CUTENESS:

7. also, you rock a bowtie better than any williamsburg hipster.

8. you have a voracious appetite for all.the.things. you love string cheese, yogurt, banana’s, avocados and mashed sweet potatoes. your favorite thing is gently picking up little pieces of sour dough bread and feeding yourself. the other night your grandma nikki (who we call ‘gramani’) gave you a little sip of herbal tea and you LOVED it – i’m sure it’s because you’re a little aristocrat (i’ve obviously been watching too much downton abbey).

9. a few days ago you saw your first t-rex skeleton at the natural history museum and started clapping excitedly. good job holding out until you saw something really worth clapping for ;)

10. everyday we create memories that i attempt to etch on my heart. yesterday we walked around central park and you were bundled up in your snow suit laying against my chest admiring the trees and squirrels. as i walked briskly, and worried about your hands being too cold (you refuse to wear your mittens) i noticed you were softly signing to yourself. your sweet little voice carried in the wind and warmed me up from the inside-out. i fell in love with your papa’s voice before i had even met him, and it makes me excited to think about the day when you will sing together.

11. and as the clock struck midnight this december 31st, i thought about how 2012 will always be treasured as the year you arrived into our lives and flooded even the darkest corners of our hearts with your bright light. the year that i became a mother. and the year that you, with your blue-berry eyes, and contagious smile, and chewy thighs, made us a family.

i adore you so much my ten-month old treasure.



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2 comments on “LETTERS TO PHOENIX // 12.”

  1. Michael Says:

    Hi Golriz,

    I just wanted to say that this is a beautiful website, and Phoenix seems a wonderful child. Thank you for writing here.

    Your writing really hits home for me as I have my own 10 month old who has not only stolen my heart but the safe in which my heart was kept and perhaps the building in which the safe was contained.

    My favourite recent adventure is running. She runs but has no idea how to stop, in this way her experience parallels beginning ice skaters. Fortunately there are walls, chairs and people to stop against. Unfortunately sometimes she starts falling just before she gets to said walls chairs and people with unfortnuate results.

    Thanks for sharing your corner of the world.


  2. kimia kline Says:

    COME BAAAAAAAAACK. phix told me he likes nyc more than la.

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