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Jun 10imaginary monologues and machines that go clickety clack.
mc sweeneys never fails me.
today was no exception. here is a imaginary monologue from comic sans (the font i hate the most). it’s perfection. i feel scolded.
also. typewriters rule. so a USB typewriter? stop my beating heart. they are currently sold out because they are nothing less than awesome.
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Jun 10according to facebook, it’s official.
sometimes living in LA feels like you’ve walked into a sitcom. conversations are smart and snappy. everyone’s dressed well. hair too perfectly messy. teeth too white. and there is this i’m-a-star-in-waiting sparkle in people’s eyes. the other day we went to the movies, and i’m not lying when i tell you that the guy who was working at the theater, and telling us to silence our phones and buy overpriced popcorn was more entertaining than the movie itself.
i’m obviously a newbie. i smile at people all the time. i make eye contact and strike up conversation. the other day a girl at a stuffy boutique who looked despairingly at my mostly goodwill store thrown together ensemble, started pouring her heart out to me as i was getting changed. i’m not sure why she suddenly let her guard down. maybe it was because i complimented her dress. or because i refused to meet her attitude of haughtiness. but it was a bit awkward. her talking about her ex and her heartbreak and me trying to do up a stubborn zipper. but regardless, we bonded, mystery boutique girl and i. and i realized, hey, LA ain’t so bad.
this morning i got a message from andy telling me that the fact that facebook lists my current home as nashville concerns him. so i made it official (after first trying to get facebook to accept NashAngeles as a legitimate city). and as i made the switch it struck me that i’m here. this city of angels. this city which makes you feel like you can literally do anything you want to do. it’s almost bewildering to be a resident of a place where the ‘rules’ don’t apply. you wanna wear a faux fur leopard suit and tap dance your way to trader joes? go for it. no one will care. the assumption is you’re an artist and this city loves its creatives. so go on with your bad cat self. make us proud.
which also makes me feel like i’m not doing enough. there is something amazing happening every single night. and i don’t have the stamina to be a part of all of it. but we are pressing forward. plans are being made. the potential of soulpancake is expanding before our eyes and we are on the cusp of some amazing opportunities.
i’m grateful that amidst all this dev and i are creating our habitat. our ‘us-ness’ in a place where it’s all too easy to lose yourself. we are fashioning our own world. and so whether you drop us in or new york, hendersonville, tonga, or LA, we are a unit. a unit that checks each other and gives each other stable ground and reminds each other that no matter where on the map we land, we will be just fine.
in other news, this weekend we are going to the wedding of the lovely may shelley and her beau jordan samari. and afterwards we will be hitting up the santa cruz broadwalk for lots of this:
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Jun 103 pretty amazing books entered my life last week…
1. faces
it’s a no-brainer why this one stole my heart immediately. swiss designer Jean Robert finds a ‘face’ in a padlock 20 years ago and then goes on a quest with his little brother Francois to take photos of more objects that have faces. 130 of them to be precise. such a simple and lovely idea and so well executed. five stars to the creative geniuses. and five stars to shabs for knowing that this book must have been lovingly created with weirdos like me in mind.
2. handmade nation
an entire book filled to the brim with crafty people showcasing their craftiness. there is no type of person i love more than those who create opportunities to express their creativity. i know that i probably shouldn’t have favorite ‘types’ of people. i know that the diversity of types of people we have in the world is important and keeps the world spinning. blah blah blah. but i’ll be honest, the people i’m most drawn to are those who embrace their creativity. so sue me.
side note: when a friend not only gifts you an inspiring book that makes you want to start 17 creative projects at once but ALSO a camera obscura kit for your birthday, you know that friend is soul mate. i love you ashley ludwin.
3. committed
so elizabeth gilbert, of Eat, Pray, Love fame, penned a sequel to her bestseller and calls it ‘Committed’ – with the subhead: a skeptic makes peace with marriage. i’d read Eat, Pray, Love while I was in the throws of a 7 year relationship ending and gilbert’s re-telling of her journey ’spoke’ to me. lo and behold, Eat, Pray, Love became a bestseller a few months later and, surprise surprise, there were others who also felt the book ’spoke’ to them. and i guess this is a pretty telling indicator of the world we live in. a world where broken relationships and broken people are dime a dozen and we’re all flailing about wondering if we perhaps need to trek to india and find a spiritual guru to set us straight.
in Committed gilbert explores, untangles and rallies with her conflicted feelings about the institution of marriage because getting married to her brazilian lover is the only way he can stay in the states a la green card. as they roam around the globe together waiting for the paperwork to go through and to finalize visas etc, gilbert embarks on her research of wedlock–the union that she had zero interest in entering in again.
halfway through the book i texted every friend who is considering marriage, considering never marrying, scared about their own marriage, or deliriously happy with their choice either way, and told them to read this book. and please keep in mind, i don’t usually do this. i’m not a ‘recommend-er’. if i see a movie and love it, i’ll tell you (if you ask) how i felt about it, but i’m not going to barrage you with my review and pester you to see it. the risk of let down is too great. but this book was different. and not because it’s the most profound thing i’ve ever read (because it’s not). or because elizabeth gilbert is my favorite author (because she’s not). but because i finally felt like someone was putting into words things that i (and i believe many others) have felt and rarely had the opportunity to explore openly. gilbert talks about the contradictions of marriage. she discusses her concerns frankly. and they are valid concerns. concerns i shared at one point. she explores how the institution of marriage came into existence and how it has played out in our society. she addresses her own issues with conformity in a refreshing and real way. she is part cynic, part optimist, part explorer, part adventurer and part terrified of making the wrong decision.
now i feel like i’ve built it up too much and you’re going to pelt me with your amazon receipts when you buy the book and it doesn’t change your life. so for now, go borrow a copy and read it with low expectations. and blame andy grammer if it doesn’t do anything for you, since he was the one who talked it up and then gave it to me.
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Jun 1010 ways LA keeps reminding me i’m in LA
1. people with macs pour over a scripts in the bowels of every coffee shop i walk into.
2. agave is an available sweetener option.
3. the weather is always perfect.
4. the traffic is always horrendous. (which is why we use our vespa to zip around and in between the crawling cars)
5. men rock jorts (knee-length jean shorts)
6. making ridiculous modifications to your food order is not just tolerated, but expected.
7. extremely white teeth.
8. i keep seeing people i think i know, and then realizing tv = not real life.
9. incredible sunsets. the only benefit of smog.
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Jun 10finding a handwritten child’s slumber party list = heart melt o’ the day.
our children better like writing lists. i’m going to enforce it.
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May 10holley-has-my-heart-seals
so, here’s the thing. my meeting holley can best be compared to meeting sunshine for the first time.
hi. i like you. let’s be friends. let’s hang out whenever possible. and on days when we can’t i’ll wait eagerly for the next time we can. it’s the kind of friendship that makes you a believer in soul mates. holley is undoubtedly a kindred spirit of the ‘i want you in my life for life’ variety.
when i first moved to nashville i was a bit, how do you say it, BROKEN. in the midst of this chaotic and confusing time holley and i met. and shortly after, her couch and i became BFFs. when you next sit on it look closely and you might even see the stains from my tears. i would bewail my lot in life and she would lovingly advise and nurture, and introduce me to magical, albeit decaffeinated, teas. and then giachery would come into the room and get all dr. phil on me. and i would cower. but always came back for more of his tough love.
so that was the beginning.
and then there were happier times when project runway devoured our tuesday nights and we would marvel at the fact that holley was growing a LIFE inside of her. and more tea. and discoveries of jennies coconut macaroons.
and when i started becoming smitten with a certain someone, it was hol who smiled knowingly when my phone would be non-stop buzzing with text messages.
so. fast-forward to a wedding. a wedding where every detail had details of how to achieve a certain detail. what was originally envisioned as being an intimate garden party became a full scale production in a magical loft overlooking the city. and with two months to plan, and one of those months traversing the south pacific, we (read: i) were more than a little overwhelmed. i will never forget holley showing up at the house, armed with tissue paper, pipe cleaners, scissors and an attitude of ‘honey, if you want 200 unique individually hand made paper flowers, you will have them.’ and so we got to work.
which leads me to the part where i try to write about the gift holley gave us for our wedding. what you need to know is that during the big bad flood that hit nashville a few weeks ago, our basement was flooded. compared to a lot of people in nashville, we were incredibly lucky. we threw out some furniture, but nothing that we will miss too much. unfortunately, however some of our wedding decorations were casualties and as we carried our many water-logged retro TVs outside we were a little sad, but grateful that this all happened after the wedding. losing some of the elements from our wedding made holley’s gift to us even more special – a 3 dimensional work of art that encapsulates our day. complete with twinkly lights and the darling sunshine yellow crespedia flowers.
this beautiful gift will grace every home that we create. thank you, my sweet.
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May 10happy birthday my love.
i feel like i’ve always loved you, because i’ve always loved the idea of you. the idea that there is someone out there who can be a true friend. a spiritual teammate. the safest place to land. a constant source of inspiration. a source of joy. and hope. and love. and laughter. and sweetness.
you have saturated my life with all of these things. in abundance. in a way that at first made my head reel, but gradually i learned to trust. to this day, i’m still awestruck by your constant outpouring of love and affection. not one.single.day goes by that you don’t encase me in this warmth and even though we literally spend 24 hours a day together, there is no place else i’d rather be.
when you surprised me with a song you’d written for me at our wedding, you sang that you ‘recognize my light’ and i melted into a pile of tears and a white dress. i felt so much gratitude. for you. for us. i have etched that moment on my sinews and if our children ever ask how love feels i will describe those minutes and how their father transported an entire room to another place.
happy 29th my darling.
your gol
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May 10stuff. and the having of it.
find of the day was beijing photographer Huang Qingjun & Ma Hongjie’s exhibition titled ‘family stuff’. which makes sense, since they are a series photographs of families. with their stuff.
looking at these photos i am in awe of the simplicity.
in less than 2 weeks dev & i will be packing up our stuff and moving across country to LA. we are taking whatever we can fit in our car + a small trailer that will hold our vespa, 2 beach cruisers, and a few boxes.
i want to put everything we own on the lawn and take one of these pictures.
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May 10four findings.
if you create unconventional installations in public places you will forever etch a space into my heart. with that, i present you this amazing installation, ‘rain cloud’, by artist: stephanie imbeau.
and then there is Derick Melander–a crafty cat who created sculpture out of second-hand clothing. ooh-la-la.
i dare you not to be impressed with anna-wili highfield’s delicate paper bird sculptures.
and finally, homemade forts are always fascinating.
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May 10i love my mum.
happy mother’s day. i strive to be as wonderful, kind and generous as you are. x gogo
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May 10press & polaroids & pawpaw. actually nothing about pawpaw, i just like alliteration.
i promised lash-cakes i would spread the word. so i did. and as a result our wedding has (so far) been featured on FOUR lovely wedding sites…and even now, over a month later i’m getting requests from other sites wanting to publish photos and info about our day. these requests make me smile because they always ask the same question: how ON EARTH did make this happen with only 2 months preparation? to which i respond: my friends & family are rockstars.
so in no apparent order, below are the sites where we’ve been featured to date:
style me pretty and again here.
there is one element to our wedding that we haven’t yet shared with the whole wide interwebs yet. and that is our polaroids. we proabably have oh, about 200 of them. and holy moly, they are delicious. you know that you’ve got the best photographer in the world when he rocks up with a two different types of polaroid cameras. ry also helped me piece together my GOLD holgaroid so she made her grand debut also.
also – back when polaroid film was becoming extinct, i decided to buy 20 packs of it. i found them on craigslist and met some woman in some dodgy gas station. i handed her cash. she gave me an armload of polaroid film that was recently expired. even though i was newly-heartbroken with no romantic pursuit in sight, i knew i wanted polaroids at my wedding.
so i kept them. carefully stored them in the refrigerator until april 3. 2010. and then handed my little sister my vintage polaroid camera (a zillion thank yous to mona) and anisa captured our day beautifully with them.
but until the SP manuscript is in hyperion’s hands, i’m not going to be able to get scan-happy so they are going on the list of to-do’s. along with the thank you notes we need to send. and showering.
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May 102 smirk-worthy subject lines entered my other work inbox today.
see #127 & #120.
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Apr 10PSA: creepy outweighs cute when it comes to cats that can stand up.
image found here while looking for art to feature on SoulPancake. which gives you a glimpse into my everyday.
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Apr 10list of things i find myself doing more so in nyc
1. bumping into people.
2. saying sorry to strangers (see #1).
3. wearing leggings as pants.
4. feeling the need to stop strangers and tell them their outfits are awesome.
5. thinking moss green tights are a perfectly practical purchase.
6. washing my hands.
7. spending $
8. feeling creatively inspired.
9. walking from point (a) to point (b).
10. growing an appreciation for the humble umbrella.
11. wanting to move here because of the way that the light afternoon light reflects in the windows of the buildings.
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Apr 10an open letter to my sisters.
today i feel: loved. treasured. equal. whole. adored. hopeful. safe. treasured.
but i haven’t always felt this way. i haven’t always believed that i deserved to feel this way. in fact, once upon a time, in a land called ‘my brain fed by hollywood’ i thought i was supposed to feel an elaborate concoction of: anxious, nervous, confused, and exhilarated. and so i forged ahead looking for that elusive blend. one minute up. one minute down. sure footing was so safe, so predictable, so eye-roll inducing and boring. no. i wanted dramatics. fireworks. rickety roller-coasters and unpredictability. that was my idea of love…or at least the idea i’d decided love to be.
i was wrong. so very, very wrong.
i don’t want to just blame the media, or my parents, or judy blume. i don’t blame my first boyfriend, or my last, or magazines or Oprah. in fact, i only blame the lack of honest, open, dialogue that i was exposed to when it came to finding the right partner and creating a healthy marriage.
yes, i realize i’m only a few weeks in, but i now know how a healthy partnership is supposed to feel. it is effortless. it is sweet and kind. generous and inclusive. i now realize that being loved, and loving, should feel safe. to have our hearts held in reliable hands is all we really want. so my dear friends, please look for that. don’t get swept up in the confusion and apprehension and dramatics of it all. find the person who recognizes who you were created to be. search for the person that sees your light as brightly as you see theirs. and will do anything to keep that light glowing brighter and brighter.
sweetest sketch by: thaneda
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Apr 10see you soon soho.
you know what i love? carrying on a celebration way past it’s ‘best by’ date. if it’s my birthday for example, it’s not just my birthDAY. it’s my birth week, my birth month, my birth season. i draw out the festivities for as long as possible. i blame all of these ridiculous antics on the fact that my parents were not into throwing parties because they didn’t want other people’s parents to go through the stress of having to purchase gifts, and promote materialism and blah blah blah but newsflash parents, every kid wants a PARTY. so…here i am, making up for it.
my husband (!) and i have nearly been married two whole weeks. however, the celebrating has not ceased. in fact we are going to add fuel to the festive fire, and go away on an impromptu two-week trip to one of our favorite neighborhoods in the world – SoHo, NYC. it’s the kind of place that i can happily lose myself for hours window shopping at ridiculously overpriced boutiques, drinking coffee, and snapping too many pictures. i don’t care that SoHo dwellers can be pretentious. i do care that they have sidewalks for walking (imagine that?! i’m looking at you tennessee.) we’re subletting an adorable apartment and it’s only six (count ‘em) blocks from babycakes bakery. i know. normal people figure out distances to the subway. or museums. but not us yeast-free, sugar-free, wheat-free weirdos.
in other news, i purchased an air plant that is supposed to survive with air alone. it doesn’t need water. or soil. or debussy. but my air plant is determined to die. i have concluded this means that the air quality in my room is dangerously unhealthy or i need to stick to paper and fabric flowers.
