THE COZYHUNTER
// she's only happy in the sun.
21
Mar 08

911

Mum – you might want to skip this blog entry for your own peace of mind.

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leading up to our move to east nashville, marabeth and i received all kinds of unsolicited advice and words of caution. a lot of people still regard this area as very unsafe, and it does have a reputation for being somewhat crime ridden. but that’s unfortunately something that goes along with city living and i wasn’t going to let that deter me from moving into the urban ‘up and coming’ part of town.

a week before our move one of my workmates was held up at gunpoint at one of the best mexican restauarants in the area – rose peppper, the next day another friend told me about his experience being beaten up by four guys at a petrol station, just because he gently asked a stranger to ‘go easy’ on her kid (as she was violently smacking her 2 year old in the parking lot). Another friend told me that I should seriously consider moving at night so that it was discreet. I was definitely advised not to hold eye contact, smile at strangers or walk anywhere by myself. So I took all this on board and decided not to be scared, but just “street smart”.

Tonight it was dark by the time I got home (beautiful full moon is out by the way). I was tired from the repeated late nights so I decided to sit up in bed and read for a bit before crashing out. As I settle in I hear someone loudly beating on our front door. It wasn’t a regular knock, or even a firm knock. It was fist upon door, hitting with full might. I sat up terrified and suddenly wished I had not stopped karate classes at yellow belt black tip – although the only reason I even made it that far was because of my crush on Morgan Sinclair. Anyway, back to the story. It’s dark. I am home alone. New house. Wearing a hoodie and green pajama pants. Maniacal knocking at front door.

I didn’t want to open the door because I had no idea who was outside and whoever it was definitely didn’t sound friendly. I grabbed my phone and tried to think who would be the best person to call. Unfortunately I don’t have a ‘six foot tall martial arts professional who lives within ear shot’ in my phone book. I called Marabeth but she was already at the Naw Ruz event and her phone was turned off. I left her a message. And then the melodramatic part of me thought about how those might be my last words and wished I’d been a little bit more eloquent. Funny the things that run through your head WHEN YOUR LIFE IS IN GRAVE DANGER.

The banging continued. I took a deep breath and dialed 911. They picked up on the first ring and asked “what is your emergency?” So I explained that I didn’t really have an emergency – well not yet anyway. I gave all the details. Her response? “So, Miss Landry, someone is knocking on your door? That is your emergency?”

“NO. MISS 911. SOMEONE IS BEATING DOWN MY DOOR WITH THEIR BARE FISTS AND I CAN’T SEE WHO IT IS BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO LOOK OUT MY WINDOW IN CASE THEY SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD. THAT IS MY EMERGENCY”

She said she would send the police over to investigate.

I called Jeff and Leanna and thankfully they picked up and stayed on the phone with me until the police arrived five minutes later.

I open the door to a very sheepish looking police officer. He tells me that it was HIM.

HE was the intruder.

I basically called the cops on the cop.

He was looking for 1622 Chase Ave because there is a warrant out for somebody’s arrest. I don’t live at 1622. But oh well, he thought why not go to that house and scare the inhabitant witless with my extremely loud and inappropriate pummeling of their front door?

I was livid. The first thing I said when he told me is “why couldn’t you knock like a NORMAL person?” I think he felt bad.

Moral of the story – tomorrow I’m getting a peep hole installed. and maybe getting a dog. shh. don’t tell Marabeth.

**
update at 12:42 am

me, extremely jumpy: “what WAS that noise”
maz: “what noise?”
me: “the noise in the kitchen. the rattling. the cracking sound”

pause to listen to the sound

maz: “oh, that’s just the ice maker”

a beat.

maz: “oh. hold on, nope. that’s not it.”
me: “what do you mean?”
maz: “um. we don’t have an icemaker”

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3 comments on “911”

  1. Ghetto Blaster Says:

    ah! so scary and kind of cute at the same time!

    can totally imagine you tip toeing in your room with your green pants.

    peep hole= great idea!

  2. amy Says:

    gulp. i was scared. be careful (can i say that without sounding like your mom??)

  3. jessica22 Says:

    Aw, what a funny story! Very understandable though. Everyone seems to be trained to be scared these days. What helps is to keep in mind that people do survive these ordeals. You should check out the new documentary series “I Survived” on the Biography Channel on Mondays @ 9pm ET. It features real-life survivors from all walks of life. I work for Bio so I got to preview some episodes and saw one where this woman got kidnapped from her home,raped and then shot. And you hear her narrate how she survived the entire time! If you want to find out more about the show or preview some clips you can at http://www.biography.com/isurvived/ . Anyone here thinking of tuning in?

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