THE COZYHUNTER
// she's only happy in the sun.
30
Aug 07

chit. chat.

first thing yesterday morning:
(talking on the phone to london)
“take a right on 12th”
“i love that you are my GPS right now”

still yesterday morning:
(i’m late. i watch my shuttle leave. it’s pouring down with rain. i walk across the street and get on another shuttle)

“excuse me miss where are you headin’?”
“across the bridge”
“you can’t go on this shuttle.”
“why? don’t you go across the bridge?”
“yes.”
“great. that’s where i need to go.”
(about to sit down)
“no. sorry miss.”
(other passengers stare in disapproval)
“sorry what?”
“this shuttle has a door on the left hand side.”
“yeah..so?”
“well you have to catch the shuttle with the door on the right hand side.”
“um. it’s raining. that shuttle already left. i really don’t care which side the door is on. i can cross the street.”
“no. sorry. you have to wait for your shuttle. for the right hand door shuttle.”
(he emphasizes ‘right’. as if that is going to make this whole ridiculous situation make sense)
“are you serious? grrr.”
(i storm off the shuttle indiganantly and wait in the rain for LEFT hand door shuttle)

yesterday sometime:
‘i’m striking out and freaking out’

one o’clock today:
“goalreeez where are you?”
“um. in nashville clothing company.”
“i KNEW it.”
“come help me…”
“you’re ridiculous”
“i know. but i need you”
“you’re terrible. okay i’m crossing six lanes of traffic”
“k. see you in a minute”
“goalreeeeeez!”
“i’m in the changing room. come in here.”
(examines the outfit)
“um. you are not rough enough to pull off that top.”
“yes i am.”
“no. no you’re not. i could rock it. but not you.”
“i can too.”
(re-assesses the situation)
“only if you wear jeans. with holes. (looks down at bright red satin heels) AND FLATS.”
“i can wear jeans. with holes. but i’m not wearing flats.”

one fifty five pm:
(making a scene at starbucks)
“um. how about next time you tell me the story you START with the most imporant part instead of just throwing it in casually in the final hour? can we try that just ONE time?”

one fifty nine pm:
“morals shmorals”

two thirty:
“this woman is my nemesis”
“you already have a nemesis?”
“yes. yes i do.”

fourish:
“so you can park at Suntrust bank and get your parking pass validated”
“and it’s free?”
“yep”
“you don’t have to be a Suntrust customer?”
“nope”
“so why would i park over the bridge when i can just do that?”
“because you like the walk?”
“i do like the walk”
“yep”
“but i’m probably going to make the most of this new information”
(pause)
“sinner”

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2 comments on “chit. chat.”

  1. m2 Says:

    i had no idea about the door handle situation. thats pretty amazing!

    im just upset i didnt go straight to ncc when i first noticed you werent in ww. wasted a good 5 minutes. my crazy self thought you could just be in the restroom or something.

    i should just go with the obvious next time.

  2. a penny for the old guy Says:

    i read this the before, and pondered it for some hours, and now must confess- i can’t understand why it matters which side the door is on.

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