so i’m sitting on my bed with dev. it’s a nice quiet night in. we made dinner together and it was a taste sensation. so here we are happy, cozy, full to the brim. my mum calls. we have a chat. marabeth shows us her new outfits. dev ignores the fashion show. i make tea. our macs are propped on our laps as we finish up some work so we can relax and watch a movie together.
and then it happens. dev gets a video ichat request. it pops open and there is rainn wilson.
in my bedroom.
this is where i should have stood up and left the room and found a quiet spot to do a jig and let out some of my excitement and stayed far, far away.
but oh no. i decide it’s time for me to be mature. and act appropriately. celebrities are NORMAL people too. have you not read US Weekly lately? they do laundry, and read books and sometimes, god forbid, leave their houses without make up.
so i’m here. i’m cool. i can handle this.
dev turns the camera and introduces me. i smile. say hi. rainn says he’s heard a lot about me. i say the same thing back. the whole time in my head i’m thinking ‘BE WITTY’. but i had nothing.
so rainn wants dev to hear this parody of a song he’s working on. and i’m thoroughly amused by the entire situation and pretty much everything rainn says is the.funniest.thing.i’ve.ever.heard.
then suddenly dev leaves the room to get his guitar.
um. so it’s me. with my mac on my lap. and rainn right there. next to me. and we are not talking. but he can see me. and i can see him. it’s a little awkward.
but awkward doesn’t even begin to describe the next sixty seconds of my life.
rainn sees my mac and says ‘oh you’re a mac person’ – you know, making idle chitchat to break the silence.
and i take this moment to shine.
i respond ‘yep. i’m a mac’ and then -this is not an exaggeration- i start to do ‘the robot’, while repeating ‘i’m a mac’, ‘i’m a mac’.
you see, i was making fun of the ‘i’m a PC’ commercial on TV. but there were two problems:
1. the commercial doesn’t have someone doing a weird robot dance saying ‘i’m a PC’
2. rainn has never seen the commercial.
so the whole thing fell flat.
and there was no recovery.
luckily dev walked back in and took control of the situation. while my insides curled up into a little ball of mortification.
and this, ladies and gentlemen is how i spent a monday night.