THE COZYHUNTER
// she's only happy in the sun.
29
Dec 09

the day the internet died.

so a lot has been happening on my parents farm in the middle of nowhere. i like referring to the farm as ‘the middle of nowhere’ because it truly is. just ask our internet provider, Optus, who told us calmly over the phone that we had reached our internet limit for this billing cycle and we can’t get more internet added to our account because there are no internet ports available where we’re located. why? because we are in the middle.of.nowhere.

anyway let’s rewind to that bit about RUNNING OUT OF INTERNET.

what!? how do you run out of internet? isn’t that like running out of air? i didn’t really listen to what the Optus rep is saying because i was too busy freaking out about what the heck we’re going to do since we are ONE WEEK OUT from the launch of the new SoulPancake site.

inhale. exhale.

i didn’t believe them and thought maybe there was something being lost in translation from australian english to my americanized ears. so we rang back and devon fielded the call while i sat in the corner gnashing my teeth horrified at the appalling customer service (i’m throwing this in for nina and jasmine’s sheer delight).

anyway, after 45 minutes of being on the phone and transferred from one operator to the next with some blood-pressure-raising-hold-music interludes, devon is told the same thing – sorry mate, no more internet for you.  which, if you know devon, is like informing him that surprise! you have a flesh eating skin disease. in fact, he’d rather have the disease so he can still GOOGLE remedies.

we were told that someone moved out of our area and disconnected their internet service, that we could take over their port. there’s no waiting list however, you just have to call back every few weeks and ask if there’s a spare port. because who has anything better to do than sit on the phone with Optus all day.

dev asked what would happen if someone who currently has internet in our area suddenly drops dead – would we get their port then?! but the customer service rep didn’t really take kindly to this line of questioning. i guess we’d capped out on our ‘sense of humor’ limit as well.

so basically we can now only use the internet between midnight and noon. so like the edward cullen we sulk around during daylight hours and work all night. our skin still doesn’t glitter. but rest assured, we’re working on this.

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1 comment on “the day the internet died.”

  1. Q Says:

    this is the problem with living at home. i’m at m dad’s, where i have to PLUG something in, and turn on the MODEM each time i want to ‘log on’. and i was like, ‘dude, what the hell is logging on? should i take that to mean that there are to be moments where i am not logged on? what rubbish’.

    (in other news i just sulk with my iphone).

    in other news, logging on?

    die Australia. DIE.

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