when the stars have all gone out | you’ll still be burning so bright

my heart is really full.

full of gratitude
hope
excitement
love
faith.

this year has not been effortless nor easy
it has been heavy at times, complicated, uncertain
in a matter of days everything that was supposed to be ‘forever’
was undeniably temporary
foundations were shaken and realities destroyed
and in the process i had to find ‘me’ again
and figure out what it is exactly that i wanted

(i have realized that the question ‘what do you want?’ is actually one of the hardest things i’ve had to answer)

i had to access strength
courage
authenticity
and figure out a way to get out of bed, smile and move through my day
independently of everything going on around me, i had to believe that it would all work out for the best

and so it’s been a year full of searching
questioning
repairing

and i am so grateful for what i’ve experienced
all of it
and consequently, what i’ve learned
the compromises to happiness that i am no longer willing to make
the truth i’ve discovered
and the doors i’ve walked through
only to find unparalleled sweetness on the other side

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2 comments on “when the stars have all gone out | you’ll still be burning so bright”

1. leila Says:
   November 5th, 2007 at 8:21 am

   golriz, you are so, so, SO STRONG. i know that human beings can find strength within them under duress and difficulty, but i didn’t know that they had this kind, in this abundance. i am not a little bit in awe.

   my love and prayers and reminders to you to COME TO SEATTLE, PLEASE!

   love love love you,
   leila

2. a penny for the old guy Says:
   November 5th, 2007 at 7:54 pm

   just caught up on your blog.
   um, glad to know much has.hasn’t happened.
   hope all’s well.

   q

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